IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in the future , we will have more and more lesidure time as machines replaced many of the taks we do at home and at work. discuss the challenges and benefits this will bring

Recently, there are
now
Correct your spelling
new
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 technologies, which become widely spread Wondwild. In upcoming years
people
Use synonyms
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 have more spare time than before because of the
machines
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 that replace
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
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work
Use synonyms
 which
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 only
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
this
Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
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 idea.
house
Correct your spelling
housework
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work
Use synonyms
cricual
Correct your spelling
crucial
curricula
 but
also
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tasks
Use synonyms
 al to discuss the
benifits
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benefits
 and
work
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Therefore
Add the comma(s)
, Therefore
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, the problems of on
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, there are many
benifits
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benefits
 of
replacement
Correct article usage
the replacement
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 of human
work
Use synonyms
 and home
tasks
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
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 a
machine
Use synonyms
. first of all,
people
Use synonyms
 would have more free time
thus
Linking Words
 they
Linking Words
For
Add the comma(s)
, For
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 example,
people
Use synonyms
 will
Could
Remove a modal verb
apply
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be able
im prove
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improve
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 language.
Moreover
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, individuals will Social and
frends
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friends
awarness
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awareness
 Where relative they
learm
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learn
 about a lot of aspects. their skills or even learn a new have
a
Change the article
apply
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time to
Strengthen
Fix capitalization
strengthen
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 their relationships. They would. Would discuss a lot of issues. visit
Which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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their family and assist them increase about
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different topics and problems in the
word
Correct your spelling
world
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, Parents would Care about their Know about their
children
Change noun form
children's
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 needs and Children
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
assist them in their instance, they would
assissment
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assessment
tasks
Use synonyms
.
However
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, there are Some problems
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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associated with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Machine
Use synonyms
replacment
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replacement
tasks
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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, decrensing cognitive response.Creative thinking and criticism become less
nolicable
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noticeable
 because
people
Use synonyms
 mainly depend on
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 to do their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
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Furthermore
Furtheremore
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Furthermore
, increasing Unemployment because many
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companies
componics
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companies
 would
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prefer
prefere
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prefer
 to use a
machine
Use synonyms
 rather than
the
Correct article usage
a
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 human
due to
Linking Words
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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the
Change preposition
in the
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 cost for the company In my opinion, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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machines
Use synonyms
replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
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 the human
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
due to
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 several reasons the most important one is
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
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 more
expereince
Correct your spelling
experience
 in life issues,
also
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 the
machines
Use synonyms
 would finish
tash
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tasks
 as fast as possible
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to the human. In conclusion, the world in the future will
changed
Change the verb form
be changed
change
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 Where the
machines
Use synonyms
 will replace human
tasks
Use synonyms
 at both
work
Use synonyms
 and home. I hope
this
Linking Words
 technology
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be as accurate as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 or even better
Correct your spelling
achievement
achivement
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
than
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 in the future

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task achievement
Try to improve the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'machines that replace individuals work' could be rephrased for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the organization of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details follow logically. This will improve your coherence and cohesion.
language
Check your spelling and punctuation. There are several spelling errors (e.g. 'lesidure', 'benifits', 'assissment') and grammatical mistakes that can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
content
You made a valid attempt to discuss both the benefits and challenges of machines replacing human tasks, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint regarding the future of machines and human tasks, showcasing your ability to reflect on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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