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Band 7

The bar chart gives information about the number of overseas Japanese tourists between 1985 and 1995, and the line graph illustrates percentage of those going to Australia between 1984 and 1994.

The bar chart gives information about the number of overseas Japanese tourists between 1985 and 1995, and the line graph illustrates percentage of those going to Australia between 1984 and 1994.
The two graphs illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of Japanese tourists who visited overseas from 1985 to 1995 and the proportion of
Australia
Use synonyms
's share in the Japanese market.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 both the charts represented an upward trend.
Moreover
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, the proportion of tourists increased significantly throughout the period of a decade.
Along with
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this
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, the percentage received by
Australia
Use synonyms
 jumped rapidly.
According to
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 the data, in 1985, there were around 5
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals travelling abroad after that, the
number
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inclined
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 by 10
lakhs
Use synonyms
 (7
million
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) in the next 2 years.
Additionally
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, the
number
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 accounted for more than 8
million
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 in 1988 and kept rising; just below 100
lakhs
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 in 1989 and 110
lakhs
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 in 1990.
Following
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this
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, there was a slight drop of 5
lakhs
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 in 1991 and the population continued climbing
further
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.
In addition
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, in 1992 and 1993, the
number
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 was almost the same (12
million
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) which
then
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 gradually rose to above 150
lakhs
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
Furthermore
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,
initially
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, 2% profit of Japanese stores was shared
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
 and the ratio sharply surged to less than 5% in 1988; increasing by 0.5% every year.
However
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, in 1889, the percentage shared by Japan's tourism market decreased to 4.1% and was followed by steady growth in the next
half decade
Add a hyphen
half-decade
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. The proportion soared from 4.7% (in 1990) to approximately 6.1% (in 1994), inclining 1/2% each year.
Lastly
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, the ratio of
Australia
Use synonyms
's portion declined to 6% in 1995.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, australia, million, lakhs with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas tourists
  • chart analysis
  • data interpretation
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • tourist trends
  • economic factors
  • promotional activities
  • visa policies
  • cultural influences
  • social factors
  • culmination of trends
  • speculation
  • preference shifts
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