The pie chart shown the amount of money that children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year

The two pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
information with data
anout
Correct your spelling
about
the percentage of
money
Use synonyms
that children's
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
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receive and
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
during one year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident from
ther
Correct your spelling
their
the
charts that children's
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
show examples
spent
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
amount of
money
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
food,
while
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
receive
Wrong verb form
received
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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of it
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
program services.
To begin
Linking Words
with a detailed analysis,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large percentage of revenue sources was from food , which accounted for 86.6% of the total. Followed by community contribution created 10.4%.
According to
Linking Words
program
Correct article usage
the program
show examples
revenus
Correct your spelling
revenue
revenues
was solely 2.2 per cent .
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was quite
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
revenuation
Correct your spelling
revaluation
evaluation
of investment income, government and other income at 0.2%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
large
Add an article
a large
the large
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amount of
money
Use synonyms
that children's charity received on program services, which
accounting
Change the form of the verb
accounted
show examples
for 95.8% of the total.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, approximately
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
proportion of
money
Use synonyms
expended on fundraising and management at 2.6% and 1.6%.

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task achievement
The introduction could be more engaging by mentioning specific figures or summarizing the trends you will discuss. Additionally, ensure that your descriptions relate closely to the data presented.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that your phrases and sentences flow smoothly from one to the next. Using linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'additionally') can help improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Be careful with accuracy in terms of figures and language. For example, 'the large percentage' is less specific than mentioning actual percentages. Try to present specific data carefully to strengthen your analysis.
content
Your essay presents a clear comparison between the sources of revenue and expenditure for the charity, which is the core of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising events
  • expenditure
  • administration costs
  • program expenses
  • direct benefits
  • indirect benefits
  • underprivileged children
  • education
  • healthcare
  • shelter
  • nourishment
  • medical treatments
  • basic needs
  • financial sustainability
  • transparency
What to do next:
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