IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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 fast-paced world, there are many
people
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 who can judge others only by the
clothes
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 they wear, and they can
also
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 tell many stories about their
character
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 and culture.
This
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 essay will show us whether some
people
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 agree or disagree with
this
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 particular group.
First,
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there is a group of
people
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 who believe that the
clothes
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people
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 wear say everything about them. Some
people
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 think that only
people
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 with perfect
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 can wear luxurious
clothes
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.
For example
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, many young
people
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 think that only
people
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 who wear the latest fashion models or expensive
clothes
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 have good human culture and are very important.
Second,
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there is still a larger group of
people
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 who believe that even those who wear “normal”
clothes
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 are very important
people
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.
However
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, their
clothes
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 are not expensive. These
people
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 think that
clothes
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 are an irrelevant thing by which they can judge
people
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’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and
character
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.
For example
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, the older generation thought and still think that a person’s
character
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 is not determined by where they lived, but by how their parents raised them. In conclusion, I agree with both groups on
this
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 particular topic.
However
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,
people
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 still prefer not to judge
people
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 by their
clothes
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 because a person’s culture and
character
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 come from their soul.
Moreover
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, flashy
clothes
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 will not improve your attitude and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. So, don’t worry about what others think about your
clothes
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but it could benefit from a more specific thesis statement that clearly outlines your stance on the issue. Make it clear whether you lean more towards agreement or disagreement with the idea presented in the prompt.
task achievement
The second body paragraph discusses the older generation's views, but it could use more depth and analysis. Consider adding a specific example or discussing why these viewpoints matter in the context of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly. Phrases like 'in contrast' and 'on the other hand' can help clarify the relationship between the viewpoints you're discussing.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your thesis more clearly. Ensure that the reader is left with a strong understanding of your overall stance.
content quality
You have presented both sides of the argument effectively, showing an understanding of differing perspectives on the topic.
style
The essay maintains a friendly and informal tone, making it relatable for the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • attire
  • fashion trends
  • individuality
  • first impressions
  • designer labels
  • social status
  • cultural appropriation
  • dress codes
  • traditional garments
  • sartorial choices
  • symbolism in clothing
  • cultural identity
  • expression of self
  • global fashion industry
  • cultural integration
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