Some people think that money is the best gift to give to young people, while others think other types of gifts are better for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
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thinks
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think
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that
money
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is the most useful gift for young
people
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,
while
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others believe other things
is
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are
show examples
better. In
this
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essay, both sides will be discussed and I will give my opinion. On the one hand, giving
money
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is good because young
people
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can use it how they want. If someone
give
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gives
show examples
them a phone or clothes, maybe they don't like it. But with
money
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, they can buy what they really need.
Also
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, it helps them to learn how to manage
money
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.
For example
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, they can save it or spend it
for
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on
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important things. So, it is
also
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good for their future to understand
money
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value.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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say that other gifts are better than
money
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. They think that
money
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is not special and no feelings in it. If you give something like a book, a game or a watch, it shows that you think about the person.
Also
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, some gifts stay
long
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a long
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time, but
money
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finish
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finishes
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fast. Young
people
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may
also
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waste
money
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for
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on
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useless things if they are not careful. In conclusion, both
money
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and other gifts have some good points. But in my opinion, it is better to give a gift that
have
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has
show examples
meaning. It is more special and shows love.
Money
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is easy to give, but a real gift stays in
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
show examples
longer.

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language
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Many people think' instead of 'Many people thinks').
content
Provide clearer examples to support your points; specific instances can strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Make sure to use precise language and transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
content
You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is good for task response.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, showing clarity in your stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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