IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The following table and graph give information about the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and employment sectors of a developing country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following table and graph give information about the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and employment sectors of a developing country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides key information about different sectors of employment. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the number in the IT
industry
Use synonyms
 has increased significantly in 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 in 1992 showed a drop of 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 in 2000 had a major rise of around 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in 1996
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the IT sector has been rising gradually compared to the
service
Use synonyms
 sector.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 has shown a noticeable decline past four years.
However
Linking Words
, the IT
industry
Use synonyms
 climbed sharply in 1996, 1998 and 2000, around 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
, 12 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and almost 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
, respectively. In terms of the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
,
according to
Linking Words
 the data, in 1998 and 2000 it has risen slightly from about 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
 to 8 per
cent
Use synonyms
. During the period between 1992 and 1994, the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 had a very similar increase.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words industry, service, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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