IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

It is often said that government project too much money on wildlife projects, while there are many other problems .to what extent do you agree or disagree

How extent government should invest in wildlife
projects
Use synonyms
 is a subject of ongoing debate.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that the government
projects
Use synonyms
 too high cost on wildlife
projects
Use synonyms
, I strongly agree with these
projects
Use synonyms
 because humans have
Correct article usage
a responsibilities
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responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 to protect biodiversity. First of all, I suggest that humans should take action
for
Change preposition
to
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 preserve wildlife animals because humans' behaviour sometimes
attributes
Verb problem
contributes
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 to destroying biodiversity. Human activities
such
Linking Words
 as deforestation, urbanization and industrialization,
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 serious problems for other creatures. An
increase
Replace the word
increased
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 number of creatures endangered triggers a serious problem because
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 disappearance of one kind of
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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 leads to destructing biodiversity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in ethical terms, we have
Correct article usage
a responsibilities
show examples
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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 to prevent animals from being endangered.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points on biodiversity and ethical responsibilities.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using clearer topic sentences to improve the logical flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and restate your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the importance of wildlife projects, which is a good starting point for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainability
  • conservation
  • investment
  • urgent societal issues
  • holistic approach
  • public awareness
  • indirect benefits
  • economic stability
  • tourism revenue
  • sustainable livelihoods
  • responsibility
  • collaboration
What to do next:
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