As a part of their education, individuals should spend a period of time living or working in another country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

While
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studying abroad, a large number of people are working
along with
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the
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their
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studies
Use synonyms
.
as
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As
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per the given notion
i
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I
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am going to discuss whether the students should work
while
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continuing their
studies
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or not in the following paragraphs Being an international student,
major
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a major
the major
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number of learners
continues
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continue
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their work
while
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they study abroad in order to pay their
tuiton
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tuition
fees, rent, groceries and other essential goods. In order to pay all the bills the trainee
prefer
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prefers
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to get a
part time
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part-time
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emploment
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employment
in various food sectors or stores, as it helps them to deal with all the
finance
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financial
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issues and get better life and resources.
On the other hand
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,
due to
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the collision of work and
studies
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, the
focues
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focus
of schoolies
get
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gets
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distracted, which may
effect
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affect
show examples
their grades as they get a limited time to learn
while
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working.
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At
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In
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the end, it concludes that the students should secure a job in order to make their financial situation good, but they should
also
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give
certain
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a certain
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amount of time to
studies
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to score a good grade.

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task achievement
Consider clarifying your thesis statement in the introduction. Make it clear whether you fully agree, disagree, or have a balanced viewpoint on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with your terminology; for instance, use 'students' instead of 'schoolies' throughout, as it can create confusion.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You presented relevant points about the need for financial independence among students, which is a strong aspect of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural understanding
  • global citizenship
  • employability
  • adaptability
  • diverse experiences
  • language immersion
  • communication skills
  • independence
  • resilience
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career prospects
  • accelerate language acquisition
  • foreign environment
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