Some people sat that family is the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (Television, friends, music, etc.) play a greater role today. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many people think that for the growth of

infants

Add a comma

infants,

show examples

the main role is to spend

time

Use synonyms

with family,

whereas

Linking Words

other's

Change noun form

others

show examples

opine that many other causes are important

such

Linking Words

as electronic devices, playing

music

Use synonyms

, and

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

out with friends. I believe that both views

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

equal

Add an article

an equal

show examples

role in

th elife

Correct your spelling

the lives

of juveniles, which I will discuss in subsequent paragraphs. On

Correct your spelling

the

one hand, family is a great pillar for a child's inner development. As, when

children

Use synonyms

spend

time

Use synonyms

with their parents and grandparents he/she will learn about good manners and ethics, which is stay for a long term in their

life

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, that will help to maintain great bonding with their family, which is essential nowadays. Because, when parents get old

then

Linking Words

there will only their

children

Use synonyms

are present to take care of them and that will

the

Add a missing verb

be the

show examples

time

Use synonyms

to show their love towards their family.

Moreover

Linking Words

, kids will learn some other skills like cooking, and cleaning

while

Linking Words

helping

mother

Correct pronoun usage

their mother

show examples

kitchen

Add an article

the kitchen

show examples

. which

Change preposition

show examples

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

, will

very

Add a missing verb

be very

show examples

useful in their future, if they move abroad for their studies or for any reason. There they will not face any

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

regarding these things.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

modern era, technology is advancing day by day which become part of everyone's

life

Use synonyms

. Nowadays,

children

Use synonyms

leran

Correct your spelling

learn

different skills from television and

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

language, and online

music

Use synonyms

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

was not possible in past times,

whereas

Linking Words

now kids have

opportunity

Correct article usage

the opportunity

show examples

to use these devices and

leran

Correct your spelling

learn

new things with proper guidance.

As a result

Linking Words

, these things will help them to flourish

mind

Change preposition

in mind

show examples

skills.

For example

Linking Words

, if they get

interest

Change the verb form

interested

show examples

music

Use synonyms

and start

nourshing

Correct your spelling

nourishing

their skill in their childhood

then

Linking Words

they will start their future in

Use synonyms

music

Correct article usage

the music

show examples

filed

Correct your spelling

field

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, friends are

also

Linking Words

a main part of

children

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

because good friends are

gift

Fix the agreement mistake

gifts

show examples

of god. They will help them in thick and thin

Use synonyms

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

and share secrets with them, which is

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

not possible with parents because of fear. To recapitulate, there are many causes mentioned above

Correct pronoun usage

that describes

show examples

describes

Correct subject-verb agreement

describe

show examples

that both views

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

an important role in

children

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

for their development in distinct ways.

parbhnoor2004Tue May 06 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Improve the clarity of your argument by making clearer connections between each point and the overall thesis. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your opinion.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations in your paragraphs to strengthen your arguments.

language

Ensure correct grammar and spelling, as these can affect the readability and professionalism of your essay. Pay attention to articles and plural forms.

task achievement

You have presented both views on the topic, demonstrating an understanding of different perspectives, which is commendable.

task achievement

The essay contains some interesting ideas about family and technology, showing you have thought about the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

355 words

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Some people sat that family is the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (Television, friends, music, etc.) play a greater role today. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of the violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Dicuss both view