IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people are travelling internationally for their holidays but it is expensive and bad for the environment. Do the advantages of international travel for the individual outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that some people think that travelling is an important thing in their lives.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that global tourism is a common thing lately, it
also
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 costs a lot of money, especially in the travelling seasons. There is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I think
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 advantages outweigh the negative aspects.
To begin
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 with, from the psychological side, people get excited and spend efforts to plan to travel every year.
In other words
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, from the beginning of the
year
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year,
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 they start saving a budget for travelling.
In addition
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, the individual labourer could take a break from his work pressure .
For example
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, when he can not produce anything about his task, he should ask for a break and spend it on the other side of the world.
However
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,
this
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 could support his creativity by exploring new habits and cultures .
Such
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 as a trip to Africa
exploring
Wrong verb form
to explore
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 animals. Another point to consider, one huge advantage of tourism it is bad for our environment, which leads to pollution because of the transportation methods,
for instance
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, cars and aeroplanes. It is possible to say that it contributes to carbon emissions that have a huge impact on our society. In conclusion , despite people having different views, I believe that travelling is an essential part of our lives regarding its negative sides on our environment. I still think that it shapes
a
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apply
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large importance on both sides of our society and our feelings
as well as
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 production .

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task achievement
Ensure that your main points are clearly developed and well-supported with relevant examples. This will improve clarity and provide a stronger argument.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance the flow of your writing. This will help your ideas connect better.
task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for IELTS essays.
coherence and cohesion
You have made a good attempt at structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Broaden perspectives
  • Economic benefits
  • Carbon footprint
  • Environmental degradation
  • Global warming
  • Local businesses
  • Health risks
  • Infectious diseases
  • Personal growth
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Adaptability
  • Cost implications
  • Global travel
  • Tourism industry
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