Nowadays, Individuals spend a lot of their free time playing games on mobile phones. What is your opinion about this trend?

Essay: In recent years, the use of mobile phones for gaming during free time has become increasingly popular.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend reflects advancements in technology and accessibility, I believe it has both positive and negative aspects that must be carefully considered. On the positive side, mobile
games
Use synonyms
can be a convenient form of entertainment and stress relief. They are easily accessible, often free or low-cost, and can be played anywhere, making them an ideal pastime during short breaks or commutes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
games
Use synonyms
can improve cognitive skills
such
Linking Words
as problem-solving, coordination, and strategic thinking.
However
Linking Words
, excessive gaming on mobile phones can lead to several negative consequences. It may reduce physical activity, lead to addiction, and negatively affect social interactions and mental health. For young individuals, it can
also
Linking Words
interfere with academic performance and time management.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many mobile
games
Use synonyms
are designed to be addictive, encouraging long periods of screen time without offering real educational or developmental benefits. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
playing mobile
games
Use synonyms
in moderation can be a harmless and enjoyable activity, overindulgence in
such
Linking Words
entertainment can have harmful effects. It is important for individuals to balance their leisure activities and use technology in a way that supports their well-being and productivity.
Asliddin
Correct your spelling
Aladdin

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, particularly regarding the cognitive skills improved by gaming or statistics about the impact of excessive gaming on social interactions.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure the transition between points is smooth and clear to enhance the overall logical flow of your essay. You could use transitional phrases to better guide the reader through your arguments, especially when discussing negative consequences.
content
Your essay presents a balanced view of the topic, discussing both positive and negative aspects effectively.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, clearly framing your arguments and summarizing your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: