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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, studying
on
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at
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 a distance
became
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has become
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 a common practice, but there is a debate that
effectiveness
Correct article usage
the effectiveness
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 of offline courses is much
more
Change the word
apply
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higher than that of online ones. I partially support
this
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 view,
due to
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 the fact that both ways have their own upsides and downsides. On the one hand, online learning provides opportunities to study in any place of the world or if
person
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a person
the person
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 has a minimum
time
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 to spend on a certain sphere. Transportation sometimes takes more
time
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 than the class itself and going to the educational centre to acquire a
couse
Correct your spelling
course
 can be too
time
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-consuming and not effective .
In addition
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, if
student
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the student
a student
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 will not be in
the
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a
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 particular area for a certain amount of
time
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, he or she
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 instance, can get classes online, being in another city.
This
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 would help people to sustain
stability
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the stability
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 of their
education
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 and save some
time
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 that they can spend on other duties later.
Oh
Correct your spelling
On
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 the other hand, online
education
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 does not provide an atmosphere of formal lessons
due to
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 the fact of being at home or other non-official places. Students in schools, colleges or universities are usually more concentrated in the building rather than other places
,
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apply
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 because in other ones there are a lot of interrupting factors
such
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 as voices, or people. Despite the fact that all of these are just
the
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apply
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background noise,
it
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they
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breaks
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break
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 the concentration of an individual and
makes
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make
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the
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apply
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education
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 less effective.
For example
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, in
situation
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a situation
the situation
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when
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where
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 the person
study
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studies
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 at home where all relatives do their personal routine,
interact
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and interact
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, or a learner can sleep or eat
while
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 participating in a class, there will not be
the
Correct article usage
a
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 place for results .
Moreover
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, online classes are dependent on the internet connection, and that sometimes can hinder
education
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, owing to the cases when you do not have
an
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apply
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access to it . In conclusion, distance-learning programs can increase
the
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apply
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productivity through the
time
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 a person can save with classes, or at the same
time
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, become a problem for sustaining
the
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apply
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concentration and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 at places with poor internet connection.
Therefore
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, I believe that
this
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 type of
acquiring
Verb problem
apply
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education
Use synonyms
 can be as effective as offline one, and have as many disadvantages as
latter
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the latter
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing the introduction for better clarity. Instead of 'studying on a distance became a common practice,' you could say 'Distance learning has become increasingly common.' This would enhance clarity and coherence at the beginning of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are fully developed. Some ideas, such as the benefits of online learning, could be further elaborated for a more comprehensive response. Providing more examples or detailed explanations could strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
In the sentence 'Oh the other hand,' the correct phrase is 'On the other hand.' Attention to spelling and grammatical details can enhance the overall fluency of your writing.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view, acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of online learning. This demonstrates critical thinking and an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of real-life situations (e.g., studying at home with family distractions) is effective in illustrating your points. This helps to connect your arguments with relatable examples.
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