IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think It is unfair, disscuss and give your opinion

While
Linking Words
 some people believe that talented
athletes
Change noun form
athletes'
athlete's
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 income in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
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 with other careers is huge ,and
moreover
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, it is equitable. Other folks advocate that there is
a
Change the article
an
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 imbalance between their revenue and socioeconomic.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
this
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 essay , I
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
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 two
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspectives
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 before I
will
Verb problem
apply
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state my opinion.
Conversely
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, proponents of the view champion fairly income. They contend that income
rely
Change the verb form
relies
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 on
body's
Correct article usage
the body's
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 skills that contribute
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 their best in various significant opportunities and formidable challenges, in effect, their experience
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to
choice
Replace the word
choosing
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 productive chance.
Therefore
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 they can promote and enhance their
profite
Correct your spelling
profit
profits
profile
.
For example
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,
bilgates
Correct your spelling
bill gates
bilges
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
proprietor
Add an article
the proprietor
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 of Microsoft and
have
Change the verb form
has
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inurmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
ginormous
 capital, when he started his business, he didn't have money but day by day,
with
Change preposition
by
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 fostering critical thinking skills and utilizing his talent, he was shafted
to
Change preposition
by
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 a wealthy man in the world and
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moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 his company make a huge gain annual. Conclusion
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this
Capitalize word
This
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 idea emphasizes the significance of growing capacity in our earn.
On the other hand
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 ,
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 group,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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claim
Correct subject-verb agreement
claims
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 that
this
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 way of
payments
Fix the agreement mistake
payment
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 leads to intense class divisions and
moreover
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 plants seeds of despair.
For instance
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
football fans are less privileged people. When they see
footballers
Change noun form
footballers'
footballer's
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 vehicles and estates, they
chagrin
Add a missing verb
are chagrin
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why
Correct word choice
that
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 they don't have them because they imagine that , they
able
Add a missing verb
are able
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 to do more efficiently than soccer players
in
Change preposition
on
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court
Correct article usage
the court
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.
Overall
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,
this
Linking Words
 view highlights social challenges associated with salary.
To sum up
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 ,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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both sides of the discussion raise crucial points. It seems to me that gifted persons are deserving that
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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 able to
growth
Replace the word
grow
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 and earn more
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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.

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task achievement
Consider improving the clarity of your ideas and arguments. Ensure each point is elaborated and directly addresses the question.
coherence and cohesion
Be more mindful of grammar and vocabulary usage in your essay. There are several inaccuracies that can impact the clarity of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, and transitions between points are smooth.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for a discussion essay.
task achievement
Your example of Bill Gates provides a strong illustration of how hard work and skill can lead to significant financial success.
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