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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development? BBB

Today,the prevalence of fashionable
clothes
Use synonyms
 plays a necessary role in human life. Some thoughts link positive aspects
such
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 as
creativity
Use synonyms
 and self-esteem,
while
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 other ideas emphasize
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 sides of wearing stylish
clothes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as high usage of textiles and waste of money.
Although
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 it has vast advantages,
this
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 essay will describe that negative improvement outweighs positive development. In
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the first argument, fashionable
clothes
Use synonyms
 try to demonstrate
creativity
Use synonyms
 and self-esteem in front of society. Because most people prefer to judge a person
due to
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 his wear.
Hence
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,everyone purchases more trendy goods rather than simple preferences. It leads to
development
Add an article
the development
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 of
creativity
Use synonyms
 as a field around the world.
However
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,it does not bring only imagination
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
,it
also
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 causes to high level of confidence and gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value to
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the population. A human who wears trendy
clothes
Use synonyms
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 supposes that his appearance is better than everyone. To illustrate
this
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,based on the Vogue journal,a person who uses fashionable
clothes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as valuable bags and shoes,his satisfaction level increases by approximately 20%.
On the other hand
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,wearing stylish
clothes
Use synonyms
also
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some big negative impacts;costs and demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 textiles for both companies and people. Strong demand for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trendy attire requires a lot of equipment and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
.
Hence
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, organizations try to attract more employees to
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
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 and workers
expose
Change the form of the verb
exposed
show examples
 to excessive production time.
Additionally
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,consumers who prefer to buy fashionable
clothes
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 suffer from waste of money. Because they do not consider their budget and want to purchase everything immediately.
Combination
Correct article usage
The combination
show examples
 of high demand for
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 and financial loss influences people’s welfare.
According to
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 The Ministry of Economy of Azerbaijan Republic,the population spent 40% of their budget to redundant wearing
clothes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the same t-shirt with various colours. In conclusion, stylish attires bring consequences for inhabitants. Some of them appreciate
creativity
Use synonyms
 and self-esteem as advantages
while
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 others think that it causes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more production
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
textiles and less consumption of important needs. l absolutely agree that negative results outweigh positive aspects.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your ideas further, especially in your concluding remarks. Summaries could be more detailed.
coherence and cohesion
Work on forming clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples that illustrate your points, making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have effectively identified both positive and negative aspects of fashionable clothing, showing a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
Your arguments about the impact of clothing on creativity and self-esteem are insightful and relevant.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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