IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people argue that globalization is harming people more, rather than doing good. However, some others argue for the opposite. Do the advantages of globalization outweigh disadvantages? write the answer

There is no denying that
globalization
Use synonyms
 has
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
great impact
of
Change preposition
on
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 human lives for years.
While
Linking Words
 people believe
this
Linking Words
 is
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
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 to improve our lives, there is
also
Linking Words
arguement
Correct your spelling
an argument
 that opposes
this
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 idea.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons why benefits have an edge over the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 of global expansion. First and foremost,
globalization
Use synonyms
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a significant impact on
Add an article
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
Change preposition
of country
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Private
Add an article
A private
The private
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 company,
such
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 as Apple and Tesla
expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
show examples
 their branches to
another region
Fix the agreement mistake
other regions
show examples
 (China, India)
instead
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 stayed in the US. When a company start to develop, it will open job
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for the local people.
This
Linking Words
 condition is leading to
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 standard
living
Change preposition
of living
show examples
 that
make
Verb problem
apply
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improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 the GDP of
particular
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a particular
the particular
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 area.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 negative
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
globalization
Use synonyms
 development. Some people believe that living
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a high standard will lead
poor
Change preposition
to poor
show examples
 countries more suffer. To make it more clear, when Apple's company from
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to build a new branch in India, the costs to pay workers and materials are less expensive than in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. Employees in India will get hard situations to compete
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
standard
Correct article usage
a standard
show examples
living
Change preposition
of living
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 in urban cities.
However
Linking Words
, even
Use synonyms
globalization
Correct word choice
though globalization
show examples
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
 both positive and negative aspects, I believe
globalization
Use synonyms
 has facilitated some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 to improve their
economical
Replace the word
economies
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 brings more
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for human lives.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 to
tackle
Wrong verb form
tackling
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 the issue of income disparity,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 need to make some
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
 in order to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the income of the employees.

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Task Achievement
Expand on the introduction to provide a clearer thesis statement outlining the main points to be discussed in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify the links between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas, including transition phrases.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially regarding the effects of globalization on specific countries or economies.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with identifiable paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • international trade
  • economic growth
  • advanced technology
  • innovations
  • standards of living
  • loss of cultural identity
  • dominant global cultures
  • widening gap
  • developed and developing countries
  • environmental degradation
  • industrial activities
  • local ecosystems
What to do next:
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