Some people think that nations and individuals should focus on their problems because it is unable to help everyone in the world since there are so many in needs.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
Linking Words
helping everyone around the world is a
nobale
Correct your spelling
noble
idea, people
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that nations should focus more on their issues, since it is quite challenging to provide aid to
variety
Add an article
a variety
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of people. I agree that prioritising self-problems is a must
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because it is hard to manage helping all those in
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
.

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Language
Ensure that all vocabulary is spelled correctly; for example, 'nobale' should be 'noble' and 'beleive' should be 'believe'.
Content
Expand on your ideas and provide specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
Cohesion
Make sure to improve the logical flow of your essay by using more linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
Content
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, indicating agreement with the focus on national issues.
Structure
The introductory statement sets up the essay well, presenting the viewpoint and the challenge of aiding others.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • challenges
  • prioritize
  • resources
  • aid
  • sustainable development
  • global community
  • collaboration
  • support
  • individual contributions
  • capacity
  • solidarity
  • cooperation
  • international cooperation
  • policy-making
  • alleviate
  • humanitarian crisis
  • interconnected
  • shared responsibility
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