IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do to try and have a satisfying working life?

It is frequently believed that deciding on a career path in early
life
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 and continuing
to
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apply
show examples
it can have positive effects on
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, and I will introduce some other important factors in
this
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 essay. Having a clear plan for the future can influence
people
Use synonyms
's working
life
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through
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in
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
different ways. There is no doubt that each
work
Use synonyms
 needs some specific skills that by learning them workers can be more
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 in their works.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
people
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 have a plan for their
job
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 in their early
life
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, they can learn those skills before entering
Correct article usage
the workeforce
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workeforce
Correct your spelling
workforce
. In
this
Linking Words
 case,
people
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 can be prepared for their future jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, workers can become experienced by working in a certain field for a long time. It is undeniable that experienced workers will earn more salaries than
amatures
Correct your spelling
amateurs
. Clearly,
people
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 will be more satisfied with more income and more success. There are some other things
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 be considered as reasons for
satisfying
Correct article usage
a satisfying
show examples
work
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life
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 should have a suitable
work
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 environment. They usually spend six or seven hours
in
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apply
show examples
a day for their jobs, which is a huge part of their
life
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. So, a non-suitable
work
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 environment can have a huge impact on their personal
life
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having a sense of being useful in society is one of the most important factors. It has been shown that
people
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 who believe that their
job
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 is not important for society, usually are not satisfied with their jobs. In conclusion, deciding on a career,
besides
Linking Words
 some other factors,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned above, can improve
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction.

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Task Achievement
While you present clear ideas, developing them with more detailed explanations or examples would enhance your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your points logically flow from one to another, making use of linking words to improve transition between ideas.
Task Achievement
You successfully introduced the topic and clearly stated your opinion in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is clear, with separate paragraphs for different points, which aids understandability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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