The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

this

Linking Words

cutting-edge world, there is growing pressure on schools to prioritize certain

subjects

Use synonyms

that are considered practical and job-oriented.

While

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proponents believe that

art

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and

music

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

play a vital role

for

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

well-rounded growth of students, critics argue that schools should focus on

subjects

Use synonyms

that benefit

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

future

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

However

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, I firmly disagree with

this

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idea, as

such

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

are equivalent important

skills

Use synonyms

to learn for individuals.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why maintaining a balanced curriculum that includes creative

subjects

Use synonyms

is essential.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

art

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and

music

Use synonyms

teach self-expression, creativity, and emotional intelligence -

skills

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that are crucial not only for personal potential but professional growth as well.

For instance

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, innovation in technology often requires creative brainstorming ideas, which can

be boost

Change the verb form

be boosted

show examples

through learning

art

Use synonyms

. A child who learns

music

Use synonyms

may develop better concentration, patience, and ability to collaborate, these

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

skills

Use synonyms

are transferrable into professional fields.

Therefore

Linking Words

, neglecting

art

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and

music

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

can eliminate

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

growth both, personally and careerwise. what's more, not all students are inclined towards technical

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as Information Technology. Some of them boast their excellent

skills

Use synonyms

through

music

Use synonyms

and

art

Use synonyms

, in

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

they

persue

Correct your spelling

pursue

successful

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

fields.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many choose their career fields like design, animation, media, or

music

Use synonyms

production - which are thriving industries in today's era. A narrow focus on 'useful'

subjects

Use synonyms

may

therefore

Linking Words

limit both personal potential and future economic diversity. In a nutshell,

although

Linking Words

Information Technology is essential in

this

Linking Words

modern world, eliminating

subjects

Use synonyms

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

from school curriculums is not the right approach. These

subjects

Use synonyms

contribute significantly to

foster

Wrong verb form

fostering

show examples

creativity, emotional intelligence, and the development of diverse talents. Education should aim to nurture a whole child, not just future employees.

ishekhWed May 07 2025

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task achievement

Try to better explain how specific examples relate directly to your main points. Make sure there's a clear connection between your arguments and the examples provided to strengthen your position.

coherence and cohesion

Consider breaking down your ideas into more distinct paragraphs that define a single theme or thought. This will improve the flow and make your argument clearer.

task achievement

You present a clear stance against the suggestion of eliminating art and music from the curriculum, which addresses the topic well.

coherence and cohesion

Your use of varied vocabulary and sentence structures helps to keep the reader engaged, demonstrating a good level of language proficiency.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
cognitive abilities
cultural education
globally connected world
problem-solving skills
critical thinking
well-rounded education
self-expression
mental health impacts
digital art
music production
technology-driven careers
academic performance
intellectual growth
emotional development
creative subjects
enrich creativity
foster a sense of achievement
stress relief

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today

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Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public heath, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?