Many teens own their smartphones, does advantage outweigh the disadvantages Give your opinion

These days, many
teenagers
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own
smartphones
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.
Although
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this
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may help them communicate with friends, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits, as excessive phone use can harm both physical and mental health. One advantage is that
smartphones
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allow
teenagers
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to stay connected with their loved ones.
For example
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, they can chat with classmates or make video calls to friends living abroad.
This
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strengthens relationships and broadens their social network. Applications like Viber, Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp have made it easier than ever to communicate through voice notes or video calls, regardless of distance.
However
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, I believe that
this
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convenience can
also
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contribute to physical inactivity and cognitive d...
On the other hand
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,
smartphones
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can negatively impact
teenagers
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’ focus and daily activity levels. When adolescents spend too much time on social media, they may become less aware of the real world and lose concentration during
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
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, leading to poor academic performance.
Furthermore
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,
this
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sedentary lifestyle often results in weight gain and low energy.
For instance
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, a 2005 study found that nearly 50% of
teenagers
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who owned
smartphones
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failed to continue their education or were involved in criminal
behav
Correct your spelling
behaviour
... In conclusion,
while
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smartphones
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provide some social benefits for
teenagers
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, they
also
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pose serious risks to their education and health.
For
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this
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reason, I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more fully, particularly in the body paragraphs. For instance, expand on how excessive phone use affects mental health with specific examples or studies. This will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Consider using linking phrases or sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to create smoother transitions between ideas.
Task Achievement
Although you provided examples, try to include more specific statistics or studies to enhance the credibility of your points. This can better illustrate the negative impacts of smartphone use.
Task Achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and supported it throughout the essay, which demonstrates a strong understanding of task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your writing has a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point, showing good organization.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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