IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that teacher should assign a lot of homework for student whereas others believe that they should focus on completing academic work during the school day. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate regarding whether
students
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 should be assigned lots of
homework
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 by
teachers
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 or whether
teachers
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 should concentrate completely on finishing academic work during the
school
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 day.
This
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 essay will attempt to illustrate that
students
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 have more
time
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 to study social
knowledge
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 and devote their
time
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 to entertainment will clarify that
teachers
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 should assign various
homework
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 to
students
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. Many people assume that
teachers
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 should devote all their
time
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 to
school
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 to academic work,
students
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 will get more free
time
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 to study new social
knowledge
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 at home. Their argument centres around the fact that social
knowledge
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 is
also
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 momentous for studying to enhance yourself in the future. If
students
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 acquire more social
knowledge
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, they will be treated with everyone friendly and have more solutions quickly for solving a circumstance. Take the example of getting a job,
students
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 who study lots of social
knowledge
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 will find a job easily and their interview will happen comfortably.
On the other hand
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,
students
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receive
Wrong verb form
receiving
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 a lot of
homework
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 will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to pressure and the scores diminish gradually. The
students
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 will easily get stressed when there are many of
homework
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 that must be finished so they will give up leading to the phenomenon of copying and sharing
homework
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 with classmates.
Furthermore
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, they will be bored and they will never do
homework
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 anymore.
Consequently
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, they can be lazy even if they do not want to go to
school
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. Nowadays, the
students
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 will have more free
time
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 to practise skills in their entertainment.
In addition
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, they often play sports , if they do not need to do
homework
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, they can practise to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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 leading to achieving more medals in competition.
Hence
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, they will be more excited about studying
as well as
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 their health is ameliorated significantly and
then
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 their score is enhanced making their parents really proud. In conclusion,
teachers
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 should seek to concentrate on completing academic work during the
school
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 day. In my opinion, the student should
also
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 cooperate with
teachers
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 to complete the lessons.

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Task Achievement
The introduction contains the main topic but could be clearer and more concise in expressing your stance. Consider using a more straightforward phrase to outline your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that indicates its main idea. This will help improve the logical flow of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to reduce some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity, such as 'the students will easily get stressed when there are many of homework.' Consider rephrasing to: 'students may feel stressed when they have a lot of homework.'
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics that show the effects of homework on student stress.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both views of the argument, which is an essential requirement of the task.
Task Achievement
You incorporated ideas about social knowledge and skill development, which adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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