IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
that is
Linking Words
, some of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
people
are want
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 their government to find
life
Use synonyms
 in other plantes by spending government
money
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
 there are
also
Linking Words
 some people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 its wasting of
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
money
Use synonyms
 because there are problems on our
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
, i will discuss both of views of argument and give my opinion.
firstly
Linking Words
, on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, there are some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries these days are searching
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
life
Use synonyms
 in
plantes
Correct your spelling
plants
 in the
last
Linking Words
 decade by sending
speaceships
Correct your spelling
spaceships
 outside our
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
 to explore our galaxy, in their thought of doing
this
Linking Words
 is maybe giving them the chance to see another
specices
Correct your spelling
species
 rather
then
Linking Words
spieces
Correct your spelling
species
 that has found in our
earth
Use synonyms
 planet , it can
also
Linking Words
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to discover new
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 could help them to cure diseases.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
money
Use synonyms
 should be
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 discovering new
life
Use synonyms
 in our plants and be
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on
earth
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 there is
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of problems
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be solved by it ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 could
also
Linking Words
spending
Change the verb form
spend
be spending
show examples
 that
money
Use synonyms
 on
earth
Use synonyms
 be more
usefuell
Correct your spelling
useful
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
discovering
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 cure for cancer or help the massive hunger in the world
also
Linking Words
 it can be helpful if the
money
Use synonyms
 investing in children
life
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
, give the child better educational chances
then
Linking Words
 used to be. in conclusion , after
disccusing
Correct your spelling
discussing
 both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 of
argument
Add an article
the argument
show examples
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the
money
Use synonyms
 should be spending it on
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 rather than exploring new
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
show examples
 of the
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and structure of your introduction to better outline the topic and your position. Also, consider using more complex sentences to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are more developed and clearly related to the thesis of the essay. Adding more explanation and example will strengthen your argument.
language use
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors, as they can detract from the overall readability of your essay. Consider proofreading for common issues before submitting your final draft.
task achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion encapsulates your personal opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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