IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

the number of people from uk visted spain in 2003 and 1983

The pie charts provide key information about the
age
Use synonyms
 varieties of people from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 visiting Spain in
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 different time
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 which are 1983 and 2003. The units are measured in
per-cent
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, it is clear from the graphs that the
dominate
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
age
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 visiting Spain in 1983 was the
age
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 from 35 to 54
yers
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
 old which was half of the visitors. The
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
number of tourists
show examples
 between the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
25
Change preposition
of 25
show examples
 to 34
years
Use synonyms
 old
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 one-fifth in 1983
whereas
Linking Words
, in 2003 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined where it is
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 only 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the tourist above the
age
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35
Change preposition
of 35
show examples
 in both
years
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the highest
visiter
Correct your spelling
visitor
show examples
 to Spain with more than 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In 1983 the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 above 55
years
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 old were 16
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 in 2003 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
26
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which increased by 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 over the course of 10
years
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. In 1983 the
age
Use synonyms
 group between 16 and 24 were only 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
 in 2003
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of tourists got to 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is triple. In terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
2003
Change preposition
in 2003
show examples
, the second
Most
Fix capitalization
most
show examples
 visited
age
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people above 55
years
Use synonyms
 old with nearly
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all visitors. In 1983 . In 1883 for the 0-15 they were 10
percent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 In 2003 has slightly increased by 2
percent
Use synonyms
 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12
percent
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Improve your introduction by clearly stating the overall trend of the data. Include a brief summary of the main points that will be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure accurate spelling and grammar. For example, 'yerrs' should be 'years' and 'visiter' should be 'visitors'. Proofreading will help catch these errors.
task achievement
You provided specific percentage figures to support your points, which is crucial for a clear analysis.
task achievement
You made relevant comparisons between the years 1983 and 2003, showcasing the changes in tourism effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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