IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Experts believe that, over the next decade, robots will be doing many of the jobs currently done by humans.

It is understandable, that nowadays with all the technological advancements present and the beginning of artificial intelligence’s reign over manual
labor
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labour
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, some sceptical opinions are forming in
the
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apply
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society concerning the fact that many jobs could be replaced by
robots
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 and artificial minds alike.
However
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,
this
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 could be a positive thing in the scary disguise. Here are some advantages and disadvantages of
this
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.
Firstly
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, it is worth mentioning that many manual
labor
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labour
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 and simple professions have already been replaced by
robots
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 or other installations. Cleaners, mowers and factory workers are to name a few, whose professions are already overtaken by
robots
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. As
the
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apply
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technology advances
further
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, we are already starting to see that many digital professions, that require more critical thinking, will be replaced by artificial intelligence, as it is cheaper to maintain. More benefits of automatised work are that they can work for longer periods of time, with almost no fatigue or maintenance required.
However
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, the sceptics have already come up with valid
counter arguments
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counterarguments
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. Many of them state that replacing humans with
robots
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 will reduce the number of workplaces accessible, unemployment will rocket in numbers and
that
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apply
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will kick-start an economic crisis and increase poverty. But actually, experts believe that many old jobs will be replaced with new ones, which will be
centered
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centred
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 around
maintenance
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the maintenance
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 of working
robots
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.
To sum up
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, the situation of replacement by
robots
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 to many seems like a worrying danger, yet it is just another step
further
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 for our increased lifespan and utopian societal dream, where jobs do not threaten physical danger and pain.

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Task Achievement
While your introduction sets the stage well, consider clarifying your thesis statement to more clearly outline the main points you'll be discussing. This will help the reader understand your position better.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have used paragraphs effectively, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, further linking your discussion on the benefits and drawbacks of robots would enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples for your claims. While you mentioned jobs like cleaners and factory workers, adding real-world examples or statistics about job displacement would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and provides a forward-looking perspective, which is a strong point of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • cost-effective
  • job displacement
  • economic impact
  • skill gap
  • high-skilled labor
  • workplace safety
  • ethical concerns
  • technological advancement
  • human resources
  • retraining programs
  • hazardous environments
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