IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that living in a city is better than living in the countryside. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer.

Another
Replace the adjective
Other
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people
Use synonyms
 trust that living in a town is better than living in the landscape.
However
Linking Words
, there are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 trend. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why comparing city and rural life is so popular and some of the challenges to be overcome. The most fundamental reason why many consider
such
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view
Correct article usage
a view
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 is that living in a village is better than living in the downtown. I prefer
that
Correct word choice
apply
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living in a rural area. Because living in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 is
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
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 and peaceful
a
Change preposition
in a
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lot of
place
Change to a plural noun
places
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. The
people
Use synonyms
 are very kind and hospitable. Many
people
Use synonyms
 do agriculture and some of them work in government jobs. The weather will be sunny and warm as always. I love living in nature because it has clean air. In the
countryside
Use synonyms
, I can mountains and
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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 go to the
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. The second
worth mentioning
Add a hyphen
worth-mentioning
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 reason supporting
this
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 point is that I do not prefer
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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downtown. Because
firstly
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, nowadays, problems like traffic jams and city noise increasing in
cities
Use synonyms
. Another problem is that air pollution is a serious problem in many big
cities
Use synonyms
. The air in
cities
Use synonyms
 is polluted because of many toxic chemicals.
The
Correct your spelling
They
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 are very kind and hospitable
people
Use synonyms
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
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 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
. But all
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 are very unfriendly,
rude
Correct word choice
and rude
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 treatment. The final negative is that
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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, public transportation and high cost of living in
cities
Use synonyms
 and there are other serious problems like
this
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. In conclusion, I would like to once again, reiterate my view that comparing city and rural life remains exceedingly beneficial
due to
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 the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
 that
although
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cities
Use synonyms
 offer many facilities, the problems like pollution, noise and stress make village life more peaceful and healthier.
That is
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 why I prefer living in the
countryside
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. You can phrase it in a way that directly addresses whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the clarity of your sentences, especially in your main arguments. Some sentences can be broken down for better readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you can elaborate on the types of activities you enjoy in the countryside or give examples of pollution in cities.
content
You express a clear preference for countryside living, which provides a personal touch to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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