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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is undeniable that
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
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 has become popular among the population
due to
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 the lack of physicians and the long waiting time for a medical appointment.
However
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, from my perspective, the use of non-conventional
medicine
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 in preference to a traditional one is an alarming tendency with a plethora of undesirable outcomes. First of all,
alternative
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 treatments often lack scientific validation and regulatory oversight.
Therefore
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, going to
this
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 kind of
specialists
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specialist
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 you will never know for sure their qualification and the level of knowledge.
Moreover
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, a patient can be misdiagnosed or might receive an inappropriate treatment and the specialists who provide
this
Linking Words
 therapy do not bear any responsibility for it.
For instance
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, a person with cancer choosing herbs over chemotherapy might worsen their condition.
Thus
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, non-conventional
medicine
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 can not only be ineffective but
also
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 can endanger a person’s health.
Secondly
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, there are myriads of misinformation and myths linked to
alternative
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medicine
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, starting from the treatment of chronic diseases in a single appointment and ending the miracle cures for incurable illnesses.
Thus
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, individuals who practice complementary
medicine
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 create their portfolios filling them with these kinds of cases to hook the desperate patients who are suffering from complicated diseases and look for help.
As a result
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, numerous self-proclaimed healers are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern-day charlatans trying to earn money at all costs. In conclusion, I tend to believe that
alternative
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medicine
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 is unreliable because it lacks scientific validation and strict regulation to control
this
Linking Words
 field and protect clients from impostors.

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task achievement
While your points are clear, consider expanding on the potential consequences of relying on alternative medicine beyond health risks. Discuss broader implications, such as misinformation in society.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments and improve the flow of your essay. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance connection between your ideas.
task achievement
Consider including a more detailed example of a specific alternative treatment that has been proven ineffective to support your arguments more robustly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction presents a clear opinion and sets up the topic well, which provides a strong foundation for your essay.
task achievement
You've effectively identified key issues related to alternative medicine, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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