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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
The line graph illustrates how much
fish
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,
lamp
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lamb
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,
beef
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, and
chicken
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 was
comsumped
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consumed
 in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
comsumption
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consumption
 of
beef
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,
lamb
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, and
fish
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 declined by varying extents, with the most pronounced
decreased
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decrease
show examples
 being witnessed in
lamb
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was a drastic rise in
chicken
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 over
25-year
Add an article
a 25-year
show examples
 span. It's
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
noticable
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noticeable
 that
chicken
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 surpassed
beef
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 from 1989 onwards to become the most popular kind of meat among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 examined. Looking first at
beef
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 and
chicken
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, the former commenced the period with around 230
grams
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 per person per week, which was nearly 80
grams
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upper
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than the latter.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, the final year 2004 saw a significant
plummeting
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plummet
show examples
 in
beef
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 with roughly 110
grams
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, losing its first place to
chicken
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. A
contrast
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contrasting
show examples
 pattern was observed in
chicken
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when the consumption of
chicken
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 surged by nearly 100
grams
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Turning to two kinds of meat less favoured,
lamb
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comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 embarked at exactly 150
grams
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 per person, which was nearly three times as much as
fish
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. Afterwards, a
reamarkable
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remarkable
remarkably
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 of two-thirds was witnessed in
lamb
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 consumption, marking the most pronounced change.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
fish
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 consumption moderately fell from 60
grams
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 to approximately 50
grams
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, remaining the least popular kind of meat throughout the period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, beef, chicken, lamb, grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
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