IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

SOME BELIEVE THAT THROUGH MIGRATION DEVELOPED COUNTRIES ARE STEALING FROM DEVELOPING NATIONS WHILE OTHERS SAY THAT MIGRATION IS NOTHING BUT A NATURAL PROCESS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE. GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION. Show

Every nation needs educated and experienced
people
Use synonyms
 for its progress but recently a high trend of migration from developing countries towards developed
nations
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 happening. For the progressed nation
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 just simply a movement of
people
Use synonyms
 from one place to another
while
Linking Words
 for struggling
nations
Use synonyms
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 equal to
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 its future investment. Providing better recognition-
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
 knows the value of experienced, energetic and highly educated individuals, so they are providing them recognition
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they are unable to attain in their home country and sometimes recognition and
appretiation
Correct your spelling
appreciation
encourages
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourage
show examples
 more as compared to money. Diverse opportunities- foreign countries provide better life facilities like education, health, transport access to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technology and
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
Above all
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 developed
nations
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 knows if they
invests
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invest
show examples
 in
youngsters'
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youngsters
show examples
 today they will
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
show examples
 in
form
Correct article usage
the form
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 of
Correct article usage
the countrys
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countrys
Change noun form
country's
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 rise, so they provide
Correct article usage
a varity
show examples
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
 of scholarships. Most of the population in Europe is old and
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 is less so they are attracting young
people
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 and minding them
according to
Linking Words
 their culture so that their traditions can survive for
long
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a long
show examples
 time. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who have
Correct article usage
the prespective
show examples
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 that tending
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 towards developed
nations
Use synonyms
 is quite natural because everyone wants to make progress and have chances for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life not only for themselves but for their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 and family. In my opinion,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not correct to state migration as stealing
evryone
Correct your spelling
everyone
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to have a better life. Undeveloped countries should provide scholarships to their youth and
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for them. Educational
curriculm
Correct your spelling
curriculum
curricula
 should be
redesign
Wrong verb form
redesigned
show examples
accroding
Correct your spelling
according
 to the needs of modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. Experts should be sent to
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 educational institutions for training and
trained
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 peers like China did in past and now enjoying the food of their harvest.

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and spelling to enhance clarity. For example, correct 'lossing' to 'losing' and 'appretiation' to 'appreciation.'
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly back to the thesis. This will improve the logical flow of your ideas.
conclusion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing key points and reinforcing your perspective on migration.
style
Make sure to use varied sentence structures to improve the sophistication of your writing.
content
You have raised important points about the benefits of migration for both developing and developed countries.
argument
Your opinion on how developing nations should adapt their education systems is strong and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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