Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness, while others argue that it is related to factors personal life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some humans are convinced that happiness is about your mentality.

However

Linking Words

, others have a different perspective, which is being happy is directly correlated to your

distney

Correct your spelling

destiny

Disney

and your fate in

life

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

a person can shift his mindset to be delightful in

life

Use synonyms

, certain factors can

affect

Verb problem

cause

show examples

souls to be sad. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views before presenting my opinion. On one hand, contentment plays a crucial role in feeling happy. When men and women are content, they will appreciate the small things in

life

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, they will be tremendously happy. being

greatfull

Correct your spelling

grateful

for tiny blessings empowers them to be

satesfied

Correct your spelling

satisfied

Furthermore

Linking Words

, If they have been thinking

positevly

Correct your spelling

positively

all the time, they will relieve themselves.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they will have a good perspective

Change preposition

show examples

life

Use synonyms

For instance

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, various experts said that to not be grumpy, all you have to do is

shifting

Wrong verb form

shift

show examples

your way of how you think.

On the other hand

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, difficult

condetions

Correct your spelling

conditions

and being born

Change preposition

into

show examples

a poor family

reduces

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduce

show examples

your happiness. When souls have adversities and exist in poor circumstances,

thier

Correct your spelling

their

oppurtonities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

life

Use synonyms

are minimized.

In other words

Linking Words

, Chances to reach success are finite.

Moreover

Linking Words

, limited

leverages

Fix the agreement mistake

leverage

show examples

harms people to have positive feelings.

For example

Linking Words

, based on recent

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

, the vast majority of boys who were born in inferior

contries

Correct your spelling

countries

suffer from depression. When you don't have money to spend, the

posibility

Correct your spelling

possibility

for you to be sorrowful is higher.

To sum up

Linking Words

, Individuals are accountable for their happiness if they have an optimized method of ruminating

everything

Change preposition

about everything

show examples

they obtain. Thanking god for what you have is essential.

In addition

Linking Words

, negative factors like poverty will

be leading

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

a person to feel abysmal.

abdullahalraddadi1Fri May 09 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Provide clearer connections between ideas and paragraphs to improve flow. Consider using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Clarify your main points further and ensure that each argument is supported with more specific examples or explanations to enhance understanding.

content

You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument and presented your opinion clearly in the conclusion.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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