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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the percentage of mobile phone
users
Use synonyms
 who
use
Wrong verb form
used
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variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of features on their
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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 from 2006 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that calling
feauters
Correct your spelling
features
 dominated the table, being the most used
feature
Use synonyms
 during the whole period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, playing music was the least used
feature
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, both searching the internet and recording
videos
Change the noun form
video
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 abilities did not appear until 2008. In 2006,
making
Correct article usage
the making
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 calls
feature
Use synonyms
 was the highest used, with 100% of
users
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
number
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 remained
consatant
Correct your spelling
consistent
 until 2008,
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
when
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 it experienced a slight change of only 1%. Taking pictures
feature
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 were
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
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 of the total, and by 2008 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
users
Use synonyms
 increased to roughly 71% and kept rising until it became more than three-quarters of the total.
Similarly
Linking Words
, individuals who use text
Use synonyms
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
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 remained relatively stable, shifting ranging between 73% and 79%.
On the other hand
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, the least significant
feature
Use synonyms
 was playing music, with only 12%
Change preposition
of user
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user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 in 2008;
however
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, the
number
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 of
users
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 surged
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 approximately a quarter of the total
users
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 in 2010.
Finally
Linking Words
, searching
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet and recording videos
only
Rephrase
apply
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were available only in 2008, with
number
Use synonyms
 of
users
Use synonyms
 of 41% and 9% respectively, these features became more popular in 2010, reaching 73% and 35%
Use synonyms
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words users, feature, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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