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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to the three different areas in the European countries between 1987 and 2007

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to the three different areas in the European countries between 1987 and 2007
The line graph for hair
depicture
Verb problem
depicts
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 the data of international
visitors
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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three different reasons in a European Nation between 1987 and 2007. After analysing the graph it is clearly understood that in the starting
year
Use synonyms
 of data collected the least
visit
Replace the word
visited
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 area was the lakes of the nation with 10000
visitors
Use synonyms
 only
on the other hand
Linking Words
 The coastal reason was receiving
highest
Add an article
the highest
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number
Use synonyms
 of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in 1987
additionally
Linking Words
 slow The limited rise was seen in the
number
Use synonyms
 of westerns to the mountains from 20000 to around 35000 in the period of 20 years for the more the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of tourist is very recorded in the
year
Use synonyms
 2002 and 2007, at least and the coastal area respectively after which asked suddener decline was recorded in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the lakes after 2002 which was only 50000 that
year
Use synonyms
 the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was 35000 only in the mountains in the
year
Use synonyms
 2007
overall
Linking Words
 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 of data collected the coastal reason was highly visited and the lakes over receiving the average
number
Use synonyms
 of a tourist is
at the end
Linking Words
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, year, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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