IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some individuals suggest that the key to healthy lifestyle is following a strict diet and exercise regimen, while others believe that maintaining a balanced approach and listening to one's body is more important.

There are different points of view on how to maintain
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 healthy lifestyle.
While
Linking Words
 some claim that it is necessary to follow strict rules and play hard regularly, others argue
that is
Linking Words
 fundamental
listening
Wrong verb form
to listen to
show examples
 the
body
Use synonyms
 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not self-impose barriers to it. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 it is true that through strictness and
rigor
Add a comma
rigor,
show examples
 people can achieve visible results, having a balanced approach
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 find
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right balance between food and
sport
Use synonyms
 without compromising mental health. Those who exercise
regurlarly
Correct your spelling
regularly
 and follow a strict diet consider it the only way to reach the desired goal
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
 a perfect
body
Use synonyms
. In fact,
bodybuilder
Fix the agreement mistake
bodybuilders
show examples
, personal
trainer
Fix the agreement mistake
trainers
show examples
 and
sport
Use synonyms
addicted
Replace the word
addicts
show examples
 spend more than half
week
Correct article usage
a week
show examples
 getting fit and going to the gym.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is quite usual that they prefer to cook and eat at home because it
easier
Add a missing verb
is easier
show examples
respecting
Change the verb form
to respect
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 diet and
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 as much protein as they can.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 often
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 at the
expenses
Fix the agreement mistake
expense
show examples
 of their desire to eat something they really want and enjoy a dinner with friends or family.
Thus
Linking Words
, physical activity becomes a duty rather than a pleasure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by
listening
Add the preposition
listening to
show examples
 the
body
Use synonyms
 and the food desires, individuals can find a balance between the ambition of being "physically perfect" and the right to live their life without being stuck in restrictive rules. In 2023, the World Health Organization published
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research explaining that
sport
Use synonyms
 may
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 an obsession with serious
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on mental health and the
body
Use synonyms
 itself.
For example
Linking Words
, 55% of girls didn't have their period because their
body
Use synonyms
 was exhausted by the
sport
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, having strict healthy rules may allow people to reach their objectives but sometimes it
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 the ground to obsession and imbalances
while
Linking Words
 respecting the
body
Use synonyms
 and desires individuals can live their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 be fit.

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language accuracy
Ensure that you use the correct article form. For example, it should be 'a healthy lifestyle' instead of 'an healthy lifestyle'.
language accuracy
Make sure to double-check for spelling errors such as 'regurlarly' (should be 'regularly') and 'it easier' (should be 'it is easier').
content development
Clarify your ideas and arguments with more detail and examples to make them clearer and more comprehensive. For instance, you could elaborate more on why a balanced approach is important.
content development
When mentioning statistics or research, be more specific about the sources and context for better credibility and impact, such as the specific study recommended by the World Health Organization.
argument structure
The introduction clearly states both sides of the argument, which provides a solid foundation for your essay.
content development
You included relevant examples to support your points, which helps illustrate your argument effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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