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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is generally believed that some people are born with talents, for instance sport or music, and others are not. however, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person. discuss both these views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
people
Use synonyms
 are born with
talent
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 or develop it over time. Some argue that
talent
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 is the ultimate key to success,
while
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 others firmly believe that hard
work
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 is what makes
people
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 successful.
This
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 essay will elucidate both sides of
this
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 argument and provide a personal opinion. Nowadays, many
people
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 believe that without
talent
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, one cannot be successful.
This
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 belief often arises when individuals reach a point they cannot surpass, no matter how hard they try,
while
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 others-seemingly blessed with
talent
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-easily overcome the same challenges.
Talent
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 can often be attributed to genetics, as many aspects of our lives are influenced by our genetic makeup.
For example
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, most national sports champions are genetically superior to the average
person-they
Correct your spelling
person and
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 may have faster muscle tissue regeneration, higher testosterone levels, or other physical advantages.
As a result
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, they tend to perform better in sports and often become international champions.
Nevertheless
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, personally for me being able to
work
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 hard
pursuiting
Verb problem
to pursue
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your
Correct pronoun usage
my
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 dreams is a
talent
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 that not many
people
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 blessed
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
.
For example
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 from my own experience, I never met someone who was hardworking and couldn't achieve his goals. It is evident that
talent
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 is not the only thing that makes
people
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best
Correct article usage
the best
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 in their craft. Individuals with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of motivation and passion for something they
talented
Add a missing verb
are talented
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 in won't surpass
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
people
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 who
compencate
Correct your spelling
compensate
 their lack of
talent
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 by
tremendous
Add an article
the tremendous
a tremendous
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 amount of hard
work
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 and determination. In conclusion,
talent
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 is indeed a valuable gift that can help individuals achieve their goals;
however
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, its absence can be compensated by backbreaking
work
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.
In addition
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, if I were asked whether
talent
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 or determination is more important in achieving goals, I would, without a doubt, always choose hard
work
Use synonyms
.

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content
Try to develop your supporting points further. For instance, in discussing talent, elaborating on how it affects success in specific fields could strengthen your argument.
language
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'pursuiting', 'compencate') that need attention to improve clarity and accuracy. Make sure to proofread your work.
structure
Ensure a clearer distinction between both viewpoints in each paragraph to enhance logical flow and coherence throughout your essay.
strength
Your introduction effectively outlines the topic and states your intention to discuss both sides of the argument, which engages the reader.
strength
You offer a personal perspective in the latter part of the essay, which adds a unique touch and makes your argument more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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