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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has transformed the way we live, work, and communicate. What are the positive and negative effects

In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
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 world, the internet has become an increasingly
comman
Correct your spelling
common
 and widely discussed issue. It has transformed the
way
Use synonyms
 we live, work, and communicate.
While
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it offers several benefits, it
also
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 comes with certain drawbacks that need to be considered carefully.
This
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 essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. Let's start
with
Change preposition
by
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 looking at the advantages of the topic. First and foremost, it gives us an opportunity to
do
Verb problem
have
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conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
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 with people around the world.
Secondly
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, it is
such
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 a large
datebase
Correct your spelling
database
 that we can find any kind of information.
In addition
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,
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 web improves the productivity of learning.
With
Change preposition
In
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this
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way
Use synonyms
, pupils can carry out lots of
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
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.
Moreover
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, it helps many individuals to maintain work-life balance by working from home.
Furthermore
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, the net assists us to be aware of the changes that are
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 around the world. Added to
this
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, many
programms
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
 like AI facilitate our hard projects.
Also
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, it is the best
way
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 to spend time nicely. If I turn the statement to the cons sides of the development, being
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
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 to the web is a severe problem. For the time being, most children are spending
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most time
with
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apply
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playing online games. In my view, it will lead to young humans
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 unknowledgeable and poor in the future.
Furthermore
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, many crimes are being committed
by
Change preposition
with
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 the help of the net. Added to
this
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, humans are losing their
private
Replace the word
privacy
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. By the
way
Use synonyms
 of conclusion, to summarize all of these valuable concepts, it is obvious that the internet is an essential part of our life.
While
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,
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apply
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 it leads to several issues,
Yet
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apply
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I believe that the profits eventually outweigh any negatives.

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task achievement
The introduction is clear, but it could be more engaging. Consider rephrasing your thesis statement to make a stronger statement about the internet's impact.
task achievement
Ensure that you present a balanced argument, discussing both advantages and disadvantages with equal depth. Some points could be elaborated further.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance coherence and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of small grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can affect the overall clarity of your writing. For example, 'comman' should be 'common', and 'datebase' should be 'database'.
structure
You have organized your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing pros and cons, and a conclusion summarizing your points.
content
Your essay presents relevant points regarding the advantages and disadvantages of the internet, which is a key consideration for this topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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