Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are different points of view on what

subjects

Use synonyms

should be taught at school. Some claim that it is convenient to focus on what allows students to have better

career

Use synonyms

opportunities,

while

Linking Words

others believe that

also

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

are essential. As far as I am concerned,

although

Linking Words

STEM

subjects

Use synonyms

make it easy to enter the labour market, practical activities are fundamental for teenagers to better understand their feelings and for

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

able to work with peers, both contributing to

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

overall

Linking Words

well-being. On the one hand, disciplines like science, mathematics, physics and engineering are considered

critic

Replace the word

critical

show examples

for plenty of reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, these equip students with a strong foundation of transferable skills and knowledge.

For instance

Linking Words

, maths helps in developing problem-solving abilities, and sciences

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

individuals

critical

Change preposition

with critical

show examples

thinking and information about the world.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a solid foundation in these studies is often a prerequisite for obtaining admission at universities or vocational training programs. In a fast-paced world, expertise that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

you attractive to the world of work

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

important for

career

Use synonyms

success.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, extracurricular

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

foster creativity, teamwork and emotional well-being.

Music

Use synonyms

is often considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a way to escape from bad feelings,

while

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

and arts nurture creativity, leadership and empathy, which are

soft-skills

Correct your spelling

soft skills

show examples

equally important to those related to STEM

subjects

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, many teenagers desire to turn their passions into a

career

Use synonyms

and are not keen on excelling at school but prefer to focus on what

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

good.

Therefore

Linking Words

, excluding these inclinations a priori could lead to dissatisfaction and

further

Linking Words

less interest in scientific

subjects

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

academic

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

are essential for

career

Use synonyms

preparation, schools should not neglect

music

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

as they contribute to a child's

overall

Linking Words

wellness. I believe that both didactic and extracurricular activities have their own perks and they should be equally implemented in teenager's life.

carla.rap.crSat May 10 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more detailed examples or case studies to support your points about the importance of STEM subjects and extracurricular activities.

coherence and cohesion

Try varying your sentence structure to enhance the overall flow of the essay. This will improve the readability and keep the reader more engaged.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on the issue, which sets a solid foundation for the essay.

task achievement

The essay shows a good balance between both sides of the argument, demonstrating your ability to discuss different perspectives.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

extracurricular activities
academic subjects
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
career preparation
cognitive development
social skills
creativity
teamwork
emotional well-being
personal development
well-rounded education
standardized testing
school funding
arts education

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