Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe

art

Use synonyms

and literature are as significant as other

subjects

Use synonyms

, especially in primary students. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint because the variability of classes gave variable opportunities for students to seek out their talents and gain the balance between right brain and left brain development.

Moreover

Linking Words

primary

Add an article

the primary

show examples

school serves as

best

Add an article

the best

show examples

period to support

art

Use synonyms

and

musical

Replace the word

music

show examples

, in which

children

Use synonyms

have the freedom to access whatever they enjoy

to grow

Change the verb form

growing

show examples

as formidable talents. Thailand's educational trends are inclined toward math and science programs more than other objects.

As a result

Linking Words

, some students face stress and discouragement

due to

Linking Words

their incompatibility with these

subjects

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some

children

Use synonyms

minimally pass the

minimal passing

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

level in their math and science classes, they have lost their chances to discover their

art

Use synonyms

and literature talent at a young age and find them later in life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it became too late to hone those skills and failed to regain their desirable unique skill and

occupation

Fix the agreement mistake

occupations

show examples

in the future.

In addition

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

and music are generally approachable

subjects

Use synonyms

in primary school. Shapes are fundamental in

children

Use synonyms

's development and music does not require knowledge to enjoy them.

Thus

Linking Words

, these strong suit serves as more enjoyable components than other

subjects

Use synonyms

, and become stress relief activities for primary school-age

children

Use synonyms

which prone to having an adjustment disorder, or separation anxiety from their parents so they would not feel constricted to harsh study programs and enjoy their school life.

To sum up

Linking Words

, I completely agree that

art

Use synonyms

and music are as significant as other

subjects

Use synonyms

. Because they serve as potential stress relievers and great opportunities to provide chances to discover their talents at a young age, which become key fundamentals to their successful careers in the future.

mworapode

May 10, 2025

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task achievement

Try to strengthen your main points with clearer examples, which will improve your score for supported main points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are logically connected and transition between them more smoothly to enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence and cohesion

Review your introduction and conclusion to make sure they wrap up your ideas effectively and clearly indicate your overall position.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion on the importance of art and music at the primary level, which is critical for task response.

task achievement

There is a good attempt at discussing the benefits of art and music, showing a good understanding of their impact on students' lives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries there are more yung people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.