IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The death penalty should be abolished in all countries.Do you agree or disagree?

In
morden
Correct word choice
the modern
show examples
 era if the
punishment
Use synonyms
 globally
stop
Change the verb form
stops
show examples
 punishing against all crimes.
are
Verb problem
Do
show examples
 you agree or disagree with
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
 statement? In
this
Linking Words
 essay we are going to talk about both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
.
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 i will be sharing my personal view of agreement or disagreement.
Firstly
Linking Words
 and foremost, if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 will be not any strict action taken against crimes,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate will
increased
Change the verb form
increase
be increased
show examples
 in society.I
am completely disagree
Change the verb form
completely disagree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because our
our
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
environment will be unsafe,how can a common man step out of his house.
for example
Linking Words
 office education, there will be no independence for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 without any restriction, criminals and
murders
Replace the word
murderers
show examples
 will roam in
Correct article usage
the street
show examples
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
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 freely.
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 human evil will be found everywhere, as it will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
,
education
Correct word choice
and education
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, when it starts with
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 society
than
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 states
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 countries.At
last
Linking Words
 globally if there is no peace and independence
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 will never grow physically and financially. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
 many believe if government cancel the
death'
Change noun form
death
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 many innocent people will save
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 damnation
for example
Linking Words
 if someone
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
Correct your spelling
caught
cought
Correct your spelling
caught
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 false accusations,he will get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to explain and proof of his false accusations Same way a person
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 easily titled
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
show examples
 when he starts
fight
Wrong verb form
fighting
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 for his rights.but
due to
Linking Words
 some bad people, he
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 treated as a criminal and
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 .its not fair
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 innocent people
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many cases.
And
Correct word choice
Also
show examples
also
Linking Words
 death penalty
abolished
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gives a chance for a individual
Fix the infinitive
to leave
show examples
leave
Change the verb form
leaves
show examples
 his crimes behind and become a good human being in future.
To conclude
Linking Words
 no doubt end of
punishment
Use synonyms
 will save
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 innocent life yet the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 crime rate will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 and spoils a peace and freedom of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 public and nation so disagreement
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
 the agreement.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction to guide the reader. A strong thesis would help in establishing your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly into paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main point to improve coherence.
grammatical range and accuracy
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure to enhance clarity. This includes subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to engage the reader on the topic.
task response
You provided some thoughtful examples illustrating the potential consequences of abolishing the death penalty, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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