In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In contemporary urban planning, the conversion of public parks into
gardens
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has sparked considerable debate.
While
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this
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initiative may enhance
food
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safety, I believe its drawbacks outweigh the potential benefits. Admittedly, urban planting offers notable advantages for
food
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security. With growing concerns over pesticide use in processed foods, public
gardens
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allow residents to grow organic vegetables and raise livestock, ensuring transparency in
food
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production
while
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promoting organic farming.
In other words
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, residents concerned about
over processing
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over-processing
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can rely on
gardens
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for clean process.
Moreover
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,
such
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projects may foster community engagement by encouraging social interactions, contributing to strengthening
relationships
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the relationships
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of
Change preposition
between
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neighbors
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neighbours
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.
However
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, the change of public parks brings some shortages. Primarily, urban green spaces have indispensable social functions. Residential parks often host cultural events ranging from concerts to exhibitions, all of which would be impossible in
gardens
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.
Additionally
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, there are practical challenges towards garden management. Without professional instructions and knowledge, these areas may become empty when residents lose interest, as urban workers have little time for agricultural activities.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
,
this
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shift may disrupt the traditional
food
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supply chains in
countryside
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the countryside
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, and affect the future income of farmers. In conclusion,
while
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urban
gardens
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may alleviate public concerns about processed foods and tie community bonds, their disadvantages cannot be overlooked.
This
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transformation compromises important social functions, imposes additional governance burdens, and negatively
impactes
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impacts
impacted
rural development.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the idea that urban gardens might contribute to community engagement by providing specific examples of how social interactions take place, such as community events or farmer's markets. This would strengthen your main points.
coherence and cohesion
In the paragraph discussing disadvantages, ensure that your transitions convey the contrasting ideas more clearly. For instance, using phrases like 'On the other hand' can help strengthen the flow between advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument. The structure is logical and easy to follow, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is a key strength in responding to the prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community engagement
  • Public health
  • Physical activity
  • Educational opportunities
  • Sustainability
  • Urban greening
  • Heat island effect
  • Air quality
  • Biodiversity
  • Recreational activities
  • Maintenance challenges
  • Allocation of responsibilities
  • Social inequality
  • Garden plots
  • Fairness concerns
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