IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, there are some urban
place
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places
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 re-planning the utilization of public areas, which
is
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as
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 converting public
parks
Use synonyms
 into
gardens
Use synonyms
 where
residents
Use synonyms
 can grow their own
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 change has pros and cons, but
this
Linking Words
 essay will contend that
,
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apply
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 the disadvantages of having
gardens
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 in cities outweigh the positives. Having
gardens
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in
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apply
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downtown offers some benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are substantial groups now worried about
food
Use synonyms
 security.
For example
Linking Words
, overuse chemical fertilizer in vegetables. In that case, public
gardens
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 allowing
residents
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 to agriculture by themselves not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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supervision way but
also
Linking Words
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
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 a reliable
food
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 source. And in some emergency situations ,
food
Use synonyms
 in
gardens
Use synonyms
 could serve as an alternative.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way could reduce family expenditure on
food
Use synonyms
 since the organic
food
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 sold in supermarkets is relatively expensive, and the cost of gardening is much lower.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 change benefits all ranges of people to obtain fresher
food
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 without extra expense.
However
Linking Words
, public
parks
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 serve an indispensable role in urban cities. Public
parks
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 have varied functions fitting the needs of city dwellers. To illustrate it, urban workers often lack suitable locations for exercise and relaxation. Public
parks
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 are an ideal site to host multiple activities
such
Linking Words
 as marathons and have amenities for fitness, all of which are impossible for
gardens
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, busy employees are struggling to balance work missions and life, thereby they have insufficient time for agriculture.
Additionally
Linking Words
, without professional knowledge and experience, it is difficult for them to harvest
food
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. Especially when they lose interest, how to manage
gardens
Use synonyms
 remains a question.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the shift may disrupt the traditional
food
Use synonyms
 supply chain, which would affect the incomes of related industries and farmers. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 growing
food
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 by
residents
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 brings potential advantages, public
parks
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 are more beneficial to both
residents
Use synonyms
 and manufacturers.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain both sides of the argument to provide a balanced view. While you have mentioned advantages, the disadvantages could be elaborated further and more cohesively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a logical flow by using clear linking words between ideas and paragraphs. This will help improve the coherence of your writing.
task achievement
In the main body paragraphs, try to provide more specific examples and support your points more comprehensively to enrich the essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's position. It's a good start and sets the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay presents a good number of relevant points regarding the importance of public parks and food security, showing a thoughtful engagement with the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community engagement
  • Public health
  • Physical activity
  • Educational opportunities
  • Sustainability
  • Urban greening
  • Heat island effect
  • Air quality
  • Biodiversity
  • Recreational activities
  • Maintenance challenges
  • Allocation of responsibilities
  • Social inequality
  • Garden plots
  • Fairness concerns
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