IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think financial aid from international organizations is important for developing countries. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 observed that developing
countries
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 are progressing at a faster rate, and
this
Linking Words
 development is required, or else the developing
countries
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 will be unable to match the pace with the
deveopled
Correct your spelling
developed
countries
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. Some people think that international organizations should provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
nations
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 with
fanancial
Correct your spelling
financial
aid
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while
Linking Words
 others are of the opinion that these
countries
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 require more
of
Change preposition
apply
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practical
aid
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 and
advice
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. I strongly believe that financial
aid
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 from international organizations is more important
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical
aid
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 and
advice
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay highlights the reasons for being in favour of financial
aid
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 with valid reasons, explanations and examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
 developing
nations
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 lack
funds
Correct article usage
the funds
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, which are required for their
developmen
Correct your spelling
development
.
For example
Linking Words
, a country like India which has a good amount of youth population, requires finances for its development. Owing to less amount of job opportunities in their own country, highly educated young people are migrating to developed
nations
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.
This
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 migration can be stopped or controlled if better opportunities are provided to the people in their native land. If
aid
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 is provided in the form of finances it can be possible to build up a better infrastructure and job opportunities in the country.
Secondly
Linking Words
a
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apply
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research conducted by
the
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apply
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Aligarh University indicates that many students
of
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from
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 developing
countries
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 especially from Asia are going to developed
nations
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 like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, Canada etc. for
further
Linking Words
 education, because of
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of better educational facilities in their
home land
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homeland
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. With the incoming
fianancial
Correct your spelling
financial
aid
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 from international
organizations
Add a comma
organizations,
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 it is possible to provide better education to the students in their native land. In conclusion, no doubt practical
aid
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 and
advice
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 necessary, but without adequate
finances
Add a comma
finances,
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 it will be worthless, so it will always be better to go with financial
aid
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 rather than practical
aid
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 and
advice
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.

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task achievement
Expand on your arguments by providing more supporting details and examples to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting information is logically connected to that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Revise the introduction and conclusion for clearer articulation of your stance and to summarize the main points more effectively.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in your introduction and maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views, which shows a good level of understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial aid
  • international organizations
  • developing countries
  • practical aid
  • sustainable development
  • economic growth
  • infrastructure development
  • best practices
  • governance
  • empowerment
  • temporary solutions
  • customized solutions
  • effective programs
  • real change
  • relief funding
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