New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages

this

Linking Words

modern era, technical markets

Change the verb form

are

show examples

taking over all other sectors.

Children

Use synonyms

are more into technical things

due to

Linking Words

more availability.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

are shifting to electronics in order to kill their spare

time

Use synonyms

.There

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

rising trend than benefits which will be discussed in subsequent paragraphs. There are numerous drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

advancements in the technical world.First and foremost is an unhealthy mind and body. Spending ample spare

time

Use synonyms

in front of computers and television can cause health-related diseases like weak eye vision and obesity.

For instance

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, there was a survey done by some healthcare centres to know the reason behind obesity among

children

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, more involvement in

electronic

Replace the word

electronics

show examples

lead them

into

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem

due to

Linking Words

higher screen

time

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, Family gatherings are reducing day by day. offsprings prefer to send messages through multiple applications in order to communicate with their parents or grandparents rather than utilizing their free hours with them personally. There are various things related to crime cases are shown on social media platforms .To cite an example, there is a show called ' Crime Petrol'

that is

Linking Words

telecasted every weekend on television.Basically, their purpose is to raise awareness in society to protect them from

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

getting into trouble.

However

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can take advantage of given information in an unethical manner.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,technology made many things convenient and accessible. Every individual can go anywhere with the help of smartphones , especially

children

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Hence

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, they can become more independent and confident instance, online banking is widely used among people.

This

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does not solely benefit them with more accessibility but

also

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reduces the chances of losing it.

To conclude

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, every advancement comes up with positive and negative sides.It totally depends upon the person

how

Correct word choice

and how

show examples

they are utilizing it.

Similarly

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children

Use synonyms

, parents should restrict their screen

time

Use synonyms

and always check the viewing content.

bajwaraman415Sun May 11 2025

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task achievement

The introduction could be more engaging by providing a brief overview of both advantages and disadvantages. This sets a clearer context for the discussion.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and maintains a logical flow. Sometimes, the ideas jump around, which can confuse the reader.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples that directly illustrate each point. Some examples are too general and would benefit from further elaboration for clarity.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of technology in children's lives, showing a balanced view.

task achievement

Some health-related examples like obesity and weak eye vision are relevant and highlight real concerns about excessive screen time.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages

Your opinion

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