IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table and graph below show information about cinema visit is in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and graph below show information about cinema visit is in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph and the table illustrate the average
number
Use synonyms
 of people in different
age
Use synonyms
 groups
Correct pronoun usage
who visit
show examples
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 for
cinema
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the avarage
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avarage
Correct your spelling
average
number
Use synonyms
 of all ages
visit
Correct pronoun usage
who visit
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
cinema
Fix the agreement mistake
cinemas
show examples
 in Auckland from 1995 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, during the given period different
age
Use synonyms
group's
Change noun form
groups'
show examples
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
 had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 pattern with some fluctuations and
14
Correct article usage
the 14
show examples
-24
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
visits
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest rate among all other
age
Use synonyms
 brackets. For all
ages
Add a comma
ages,
show examples
Use synonyms
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
number
Use synonyms
 of
visites
Correct your spelling
visits
visitors
 experienced some fluctuations over the given period. In 1995,
14
Correct article usage
the 14
show examples
-24 group started from about 9% and it increased gradually over the next two years to about 11%. The figure shows
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 decrease before
increase
Add an article
the increase
show examples
 to approximately 10% in 2001. The amount of
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
Linking Words
 group relatively dropped from 11% in 2001 to 10% in 2003. The same trajectory
Add a missing verb
is show
show examples
show
Replace the word
shown
show examples
 by the other
age
Use synonyms
barackets
Correct your spelling
brackets
 and the lowest
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 from over 55 aged people. In 1995,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the avarage
show examples
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
number
Use synonyms
 of all ages
begins
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10.3 and it rose to 11.2 in 1997. It was the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 movie
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
 in the given time frame. In 1999 it declined significantly to around 7.3 and
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period it reached 8.3. The highest rate of
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 in 2001(80%), and the the lowest rate was 67%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, age, cinema, avarage, visits with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cinema attendance
  • average number of visits
  • population growth
  • leisure activity
  • entertainment preferences
  • complexes
  • increased participation
  • trends
  • correlation
  • digital cinema technology
  • film genres
  • entertainment options
  • dramatic increase
  • a significant jump
  • residents of Auckland
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