The Advantages and Disadvantages of Children Having a Large Number of Toys

In today's consumer-driven world, it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

common

things

Change the noun form

thing

show examples

for parents to purchase numerous amount of

toys

Use synonyms

for their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

While

Linking Words

it may

offers

Change the verb form

offer

show examples

several benefits

such

Linking Words

as improved creativity, It

also

Linking Words

leads

negative

Change preposition

to negative

show examples

outcomes

include

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

redusing focus and a strong

sence

Correct your spelling

sense

of avarice. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will provide both advantages and disadvantages

Change preposition

apply

show examples

before providing

balanced

Correct article usage

a balanced

show examples

aproach

Correct your spelling

approach

. First and foremost, one key

advantages

Change to a singular noun

advantage

show examples

is being access

Change the verb form

is being accessed

is accessing

show examples

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

range of

toys

Use synonyms

enhence

Correct your spelling

enhance

creativity and cognitive level of

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

while

Linking Words

block games

stimulates

Change the verb form

stimulate

show examples

imagination, Puzzles and simulation games

encoureges

Correct your spelling

encourages

encourage

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, in order to enjoy a

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

children

Use synonyms

have to create

illusion

Add an article

the illusion

an illusion

show examples

of a story in his or her

head

Fix the agreement mistake

heads

show examples

however

Linking Words

, it won't stop with

this

Linking Words

building

a lego structures

Correct the article-noun agreement

lego structures

a lego structure

show examples

will teach basic engineering and planning

concept

Fix the agreement mistake

concepts

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, Sometimes a toy can be

source

Add an article

a source

the source

show examples

of self-comfort.

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

early age, a lot of

children

Use synonyms

will have a problem with social interaction. To solve

Linking Words

this problems

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

, most parents appeal to dolls or animal

toys

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as teddy

bear

Fix the agreement mistake

bears

show examples

. When

Correct your spelling

youngest

youngest or

youngestor

Correct article usage

the youngestor

show examples

began to attend to a

Correct your spelling

kindergarten

kindergarden

Correct your spelling

kindergarten

However

Linking Words

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

noteable

Correct your spelling

notable

noticeable

drawback to consider. Overplaying

migh

Correct your spelling

might

lead

Change preposition

to an

show examples

addiction to

toys

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of focusing

Change preposition

on other

show examples

other task

Change the wording

another task

other tasks

show examples

such

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

studying or spending more time with a family, they play much more than normal. And

this

Linking Words

is bad

especialy

Correct your spelling

especially

when you remember not all

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

bring benefits to

Correct the article-noun agreement

children

a child

show examples

children

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, when

such

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

start

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elementry

Correct your spelling

elementary

school, they will not keep up with their peers

due to

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

discipline.

In addition

Linking Words

abundance

Add an article

an abundance

the abundance

show examples

toy

Fix the agreement mistake

toys

show examples

may reduce

Correct article usage

the

show examples

sence

Correct your spelling

sense

of appreciation

along side

Correct your spelling

alongside

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

satisfaction. Because of

this

Linking Words

, they can get

borred

Correct your spelling

bored

frequantly

Correct your spelling

frequently

and request a new toy more

tha

Correct your spelling

than

usual. At

first,

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could

seen

Correct your spelling

seem

show examples

not a big deal but as they

are grow

Change the verb form

are growing

are grown

show examples

up,

this

Linking Words

will lead to inevitable problems

includes

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

depression

due to

Linking Words

did

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not able to get his or her wanted

Change preposition

apply

show examples

job or

dissaticfaction

Correct your spelling

dissatisfaction

in his or her life. In

conclutions

Correct your spelling

conclusion

conclusions

although

Linking Words

overplaying

toys

Use synonyms

develops

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

several bad habits, It has more than enough

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

effects on

children

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

enhensing

Correct your spelling

enhancing

crutial

Correct your spelling

crucial

critical

skills of them.

Therefore

Linking Words

Correct article usage

a ballanced

show examples

ballanced

Correct your spelling

balanced

approach is key to

this

Linking Words

matter. Playing

Use synonyms

toys

Change preposition

with toys

show examples

under

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

control can solve

this

Linking Words

problem.

Bahrom

May 12, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language accuracy

Try to maintain consistent subject-verb agreement in your sentences. For example, use 'a common thing' instead of 'an common things' and 'it offers' instead of 'it may offers.'

structure and organization

Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines the discussion points of your essay and use appropriate transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow.

idea development

Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and explanations to provide a fuller response to the question.

task achievement

You have identified important advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

relevant examples

Your use of examples, such as Lego and teddy bears, adds relatability and depth to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
72
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

378 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Suggestions & mistake analysis
Find every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary
Expand your ideas and use the right words.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of a university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much broader ways.
6.5
band
Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negetive impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Foreign films are increasingly popular across the globe, offering audiences the chance to explore different cultures and ideas. While some argue that showcasing these films brings significant benefits, others fear they may harm local cultures by overshadowing domestic productions. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion on the matter.
7
band
Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to invidividuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, with the proliferation of media transportation, a host of serious issues are broadcasted and updated. Some people argue that negative news reports have an adverse bearing on citizens. I agree with this perspective and the reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
6
band
Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for many reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and conclude.
Various circumstances exist that would compel parents to send their children to boarding school. Be that as it may, parents, psychologists, and policymakers often debate whether the nature of boarding schools presents positive or negative outcomes. This essay will explore arguments for both sides and provide detailed analysis to aid readers in arriving at their own conclusion.
8
band
University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree
The argument against university students is that they should only specialise in one area. Others, however, believe learning a wide range of subjects is necessarily required in modern society. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the viewpoint that students should know more subjects due to the growing competitiveness of the job market and the advantages of a holistic education.

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Children Having a Large Number of Toys

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negetive impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to invidividuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for many reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and conclude.

University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree