Many individuals say that spending on space exploration is a waste of money. This, instead, should be better used to solve current problems on Earth. To what degree do you support or oppose this idea?

A school of thought holds that spending
money
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on
space
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exploration is a waste and
this
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money
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should be used to solve current
problems
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on
Earth
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.
While
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I acknowledge that
this
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perception is somewhat justifiable,
this
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essay will discuss my opinion
in
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on
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both views. On the one hand, it is understandable that spending
money
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on solving
problems
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on
Earth
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is crucial.
Firstly
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, there are so many struggles happening on
Earth
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every day, weeks or even years, with only raw human contribution, these
problems
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can not be solved completely.
Therefore
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, the economy needs to improve the weakness of a specific problem. With the provision of an economy, some
problems
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like poorness, illness, and unemployment in a nation can be handled and
also
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thrive that country becomes better.
Moreover
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, with a sustainable source of
money
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, individuals living standards can be improved and become better.
On the other hand
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, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that it is
also
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essential to invest in
space
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exploration. First and foremost, discovering
space
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plays an important role in human development. By adding knowledge about
space
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, humans can know more about other planets in the
space
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system and
also
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explore our
Earth
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’s geography. Investing in
this
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field is
also
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a way to contribute to humanity's knowledge about galaxy universe.
In addition
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, the information about
this
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field can be saved for the younger generation. In conclusion,
while
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it is irrefutable that spending
money
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on solving current
problems
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on
Earth
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is more important,I would contend that there are compelling reasons why discovering
space
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should be invested.

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task achievement
Consider providing clearer examples to support your points about space exploration and Earthly problems to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the organization of your essay by having clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that signal the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Revise some phrases for clarity and grammatical accuracy, e.g., 'struggles happening on Earth' could be replaced with 'challenges faced on Earth.'
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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