IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Students should be taught the academic subjects only in the schools not the practical skills like cooking. To what extent di you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 these days, the number of
society
Change noun form
society's
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 consumption of outside meals,
such
Linking Words
 as frozen and packaged foods, is increasing
instead
Linking Words
 of homemade dishes. In
This
Linking Words
 essay, both perspectives will be examined in
this
Linking Words
 discussion. On the one hand, it is commonly believed that raising
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
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 of people who prefer to
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
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 in restaurants or food trucks is a serious problem that poses potential risks
on
Change preposition
to
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 people's health.
This
Linking Words
 is because these products do not offer enough benefits or natural elements which
required
Add a missing verb
are required
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 to cover our daily needs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with the latest
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 food places. There is
noticeable
Add an article
a noticeable
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 increase in food prices to 20%
according to
Linking Words
 statistics from Harvard University in 2023. The data showed one of the most significant differences between home-cooked and outside dishes.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is more money-saving to cook at home.

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task achievement
Try to clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly convey your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs follow a clear structure with topic sentences supporting your main argument.
task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to support your claims, such as specific health statistics or anecdotal evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid small grammatical inaccuracies ('the number of society consumption' should be 'societal consumption of meals').
task achievement
You present a clear opinion and introduce both sides of the argument, which is important for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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