In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Globally, many people purchase clothes and pick
hair styles
Correct your spelling
hairstyles
show examples
according to
Linking Words
the current
fashion
Use synonyms
trend. In my opinion, it is a negative development because keeping up with the latest
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to financial instability and a loss of personal authenticity. Buying clothes and choosing
hair styles
Correct your spelling
hairstyles
show examples
according to
Linking Words
the newest
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
is a negative development because it leads to financial strain. Most of the latest
fashion
Use synonyms
items are expensive and an individual who is extremely
Use synonyms
fashion conscious
Add a hyphen
fashion-conscious
show examples
spends excessively on them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it gets tiring when one tries to keep up with the latest concepts because we live in a world where change is inevitable and new
trends
Use synonyms
are introduced yearly.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who earns a
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
wage quickly depletes their salary
due to
Linking Words
trying to keep up with the ever-evolving world of
fashion
Use synonyms
which leads to irresponsible financial habits.
In addition
Linking Words
, another reason why
this
Linking Words
has a bad influence on a person is because it causes a diminished sense of identity. A person
that is
Linking Words
constantly trying to fit
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by regularly purchasing the latest outfits and making the newest
hair styles
Correct your spelling
hairstyles
show examples
loses his or her self-confidence because he or she is trying to keep up with the latest
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
which becomes mentally overwhelming.
For instance
Linking Words
, someone who is constantly trying to keep up with the latest
fashion
Use synonyms
might become exhausted. In conclusion, spending excessively on the latest
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
is a negative
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
because it causes financial hardship and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
low self-esteem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples that illustrate your points and enhance your arguments.
coherence
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences to improve the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and contains a well-structured argument.
coherence
The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points of the essay, reinforcing the argument presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: