IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Nowadays most people like to live around their native. Even
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 statement has its own significance.
However
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, in
upcoming
Add an article
the upcoming
an upcoming
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 essay, we are going to view some pros and cons.
Therefore
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, it's a valid reason that if
a
Correct article usage
apply
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one decides to live near his birthplace.
However
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, it adds extra strength to his living status.
For
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example
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example,
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 he will get a lot of support through his parents and his family business.so no need to suffer for
living
Correct article usage
a living
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. Another advantage would be staying with a joint family always gives confidence and success. others suffer a basic things.
Secondly
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Add a comma
,
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due
familier
Correct your spelling
familiar
environment he can do any type of business with support.rather than asking for help from others.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 few people believe that staying with the family will make an individual's life more dependent example he will become lazy.
therefore
Linking Words
 he will not put in any effort.since he has already father established
retail
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a retail
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 shop etc. Another disadvantage of line is in a joint family there are a lot of arguments and issues.which could lead towards the end of
peaceful
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a peaceful
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 life. To
concluded
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conclude
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even
there
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though there
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 are many disadvantages for a man living in his home town.
advantages
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the advantages
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 are more fruitful of living together.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Consider providing a clearer thesis statement that summarizes the advantages and disadvantages you will elaborate on.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, which is introduced at the beginning of the paragraph.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your examples. Specific examples can strengthen your argument; ensure they are well-explained and relevant to the points being discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall flow of the essay by using more connecting words and phrases to link ideas together. This will enhance coherence and make the essay more readable.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar and spelling to reduce errors. For instance, 'familier' should be 'familiar,' and sentences should be structured properly to improve comprehension.
task achievement
You have presented both advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Settlement
  • Hometown
  • Roots
  • Community
  • Emotional attachment
  • Sense of familiarity
  • Social network
  • Bond
  • Safety
  • Proximity
  • Support system
  • Heritage
  • Limited options
  • Risk aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Unfamiliarity
  • Exploration
  • Adventurous spirit
What to do next:
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