Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that gaining work experience and skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, it is a great way to have
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
career through studying at university because you will have
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
that will help you
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
improve your information about your major. about the work
eperience
Correct your spelling
experience
way, it is possible to have a successful career
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
way but you might need some information when you
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
situation to handle with. in my opinion, studying at university will give you more knowledge and it will improve your job's quality and give you
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
above
Change preposition
over
show examples
your team at work and
this
Linking Words
will be a good thing to challenge each other and the company will get what they want. eventually, both ways is possible to build
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
career and everyone should know
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
strengths and their weakness to choose which
best
Add a missing verb
is best
show examples
for them and their future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction could be more clearly defined with a stronger thesis statement outlining your main argument. Ensure to present both sides of the argument more clearly before giving your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in connecting your ideas and making the essay easier to read.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your points about the benefits of studying at university and gaining work experience. This will help in making your argument more robust.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion at the end of your essay, which is important in addressing the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You discussed both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: