IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people belive that professionals, such as doctors and enginerrs, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both views and give your own opinion

There is no denying the fact that many nations think that lots of jobs like doctors and engineers, should be
requried
Correct your spelling
required
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they did their training. Others think that they should not be required and they should be free to
work
Use synonyms
 in any
country
Use synonyms
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 want to
work
Use synonyms
 in.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyze
this
Linking Words
 topic from both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
. On the one hand,
thery
Correct your spelling
there
they
 are many reasons why many communities believe that professionals should
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they did the training. Many countries have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own rules
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many jobs and
professinals
Correct your spelling
professions
 and a
person
Use synonyms
 has
Fix the infinitive
to adjuster
show examples
adjuster
Wrong verb form
to adhere
show examples
 to
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 rules and they might be
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 from other countries.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, it might be more possible to find a job in the same training
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, being free to
work
Use synonyms
 in any
country
Use synonyms
 helps lots of people to find
batter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
 jobs, a
batter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
 salary,and
also
Linking Words
 a good
accommodatin
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodatin'
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, working in an abroad
country
Use synonyms
 may have a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, a
person
Use synonyms
 who
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 in
abroad
Correct article usage
a abroad
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 will learn the culture of the place he or she works in.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
person
Use synonyms
 might learn the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 main language which will improve his or her knowledge. In conclusion, many societies believe that some professionals like
engineeer
Correct your spelling
engineer
engineers
 or doctors should
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
country
Use synonyms
 they did the training in.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others think that it is not required to get a job in the same
country
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, it is not
requried
Correct your spelling
required
 that a
person
Use synonyms
 works in the same
country
Use synonyms
 where he or she did the training .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and examples to make your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the logical structure of each paragraph to ensure your ideas flow smoothly and are easy to follow.
Language and Style
Improve vocabulary and grammar; be mindful of spelling errors and word forms for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument in a structured manner, showing good understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides your opinion, which is essential for a well-rounded response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • subsidized
  • invested
  • debt to society
  • local shortages
  • national development
  • advocates for freedom
  • individual freedom
  • career growth
  • different cultures
  • expertise
  • international challenges
  • diverse solutions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: