IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Umar

Funancial
Correct your spelling
Financial
 knowledge should be involved as a
neccecarry
Correct your spelling
neck carry
 subject in schools to teach students
for managing
Change preposition
to manage
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 effectively,I completely agree that schools need to have lessons,which teach to
better controlling
Add a hyphen
better-controlling
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money
Use synonyms
, it
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 develop private
life
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 in the
future
Use synonyms
 and career opportunities. On the one hand,learning the system of
money
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 and
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 enough attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them,can improve the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 in the
future
Use synonyms
. Building
Correct article usage
a relaible
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relaible
Correct your spelling
reliable
future
Use synonyms
 starts with managing
money
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,as a rule in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
life
Use synonyms
 these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of capabilities
the
Add a missing verb
are the
show examples
 most essential.People tend to communicate with
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 and be surrounded by
intelegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
,who have skills from
early
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an early
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 age, it is
noticeably
Change the word
noticeable
show examples
 with
money
Use synonyms
. For
exmple
Correct your spelling
example
, worldwide was
survey
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a survey
show examples
 of luxury people and most of them confessed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
show examples
 and smart environment
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 feedback more and more
positive side
Replace the word
positivity
show examples
 for all individuals.
Moreover
Linking Words
,having several quantity of
money
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 expertise never
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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been deprived to somebody,especially with own state or career. Having
basic
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a basic
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 knowledge of funds from teenage years can
gave
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 some benefits
such
Linking Words
 as
self esteem
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self-esteem
show examples
,confidence,
relaible
Correct your spelling
reliable
 and responsibility that
Add a missing verb
are noticeably
show examples
noticeably
Change the word
noticeable
show examples
 among peers.
For instance
Linking Words
, the British
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 of Birmingham informed their preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing students. There were next requirements,must have at least fundamental skills of understanding economic growth and business science.
Also
Linking Words
,the national UK workplaces
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 the same abilities for emigrates. In conclusion,
incluiding
Correct your spelling
including
money
Use synonyms
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 in school education as a mandatory lesson can
cause enhancing
Verb problem
enhance one's
show examples
 own
life
Use synonyms
 in the
future
Use synonyms
 and career possibilities.

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task achievement
Ensure that each point made directly supports your position. Elaborate on ideas and provide more context for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate and develop individual points.
language use
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, as they can distract from the overall message.
task achievement
You've effectively stated your agreement with the idea of financial education in schools.
task achievement
Your essay presents some relevant examples regarding the importance of financial knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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