IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As the political and social conditions around the world are transforming the trend of the immigration is increasing day by day . What do you think what can be positive and negative impact of immigration

In the prevailing era, the political and social circumstances are affecting the immigration system in some parts of the world and emigration is escalating nowadays. I think that
this
Linking Words
 trend has more cons than pros. On the one hand, there are several advantages of migration movements in some corners of the world.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are some unwanted vacancies available in the markets that most migrants are willing to work as compared to locals. In detail, these positions
such
Linking Words
 as
cleaner
Replace the word
cleaners
show examples
, housekeepers, and cooking
assistance
Replace the word
assistants
show examples
 in restaurants are underpaid
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 are rejected by most of the citizens.
Therefore
Linking Words
, emigrants help to address the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 shortage in
such
Linking Words
 fields.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 effects of the growth of immigration can be seen in many nations that have large numbers of settled residents. Offering affordable houses to every person has become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 issue for authorities in the world. As
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is rising, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 is increasing. It leads to an increase in the rent of the apartments and people are unable to afford them.
As a result
Linking Words
, Many of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
agree to live in the open areas, namely on the roads,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the grounds and many more.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals in Canada
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 facing
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in finding
resonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
 homes.
Thus
Linking Words
, inviting foreign people
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 countries is destructive.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 increasing emigration levels has some benefits because it fills the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 shortage in some sectors, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has more drawbacks that are responsible for escalating the
house's
Change noun form
house
show examples
 rent.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your points with additional details or examples to support both the positive and negative impacts of immigration more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of that paragraph to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on sentence variety and grammar to improve overall fluency and readability.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion and outlined both positive and negative aspects of immigration, which shows your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is structured into clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • economic growth
  • cultural diversity
  • innovation
  • entrepreneurship
  • public services
  • social tensions
  • xenophobia
  • demographics
  • policy decisions
  • job creation
  • host country
  • community cohesion
  • nationalism
What to do next:
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