IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In today’s world, a wide range of research is conducted by industries and universities to create new innovations. Some people believe that
this
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 activity is not a crucial issue
due to
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 experimental necessity.
However
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, I would argue that researchers could conduct animal testing as they followed the policies.
Therefore
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, the governments and other authorities who are related to these sectors must find effective solutions. Since the development of technologies, scientists must identify effective methods for animal testing. They could collaborate with engineers to produce advanced laboratory equipment as tester tools, ensuring the study results are successful.
However
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, if they must run animal testing, they may use it with full consideration and follow the procedures.
Additionally
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, researchers who are establishing new studies must have certifications, including health, safety, and environmental, to prevent other illegal activities.  
Besides
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 that, to solve
this
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 issue, there are smart approaches to ensure research results. Institutions may hold conferences to educate affiliations and people who are conducting experiments to create and develop innovations,
such
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 as running computer
modeling
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modelling
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, in vitro methods, and cell-based model systems.
Furthermore
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, the conferences should be open to the public because
this
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 problem is not only the experts' responsibility but
also
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 society's.
For instance
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, the event organizer could hold the event both online and offline with affordable fee registration and create content that explains which companies are doing animal testing and the effects, so the industries can not undertake animal testing anymore and will find a beneficial strategy. Another alternative way is
the
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that
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 governments must create new policies related to animal abuse or hire auditors to oversee ongoing experiments.
In addition
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, companies that disregard the regulations must face serious consequences, including prison punishment, temporary closure punishment, and other appropriate penalties. In conclusion,
while
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 innovation and scientific research are vital for progress, they should not come at the cost of animal welfare. Governments, industries, and society must work together to find ethical alternatives to animal testing, ensuring that scientific advancements are both humane and sustainable.

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task achievement
Consider making your introduction more engaging by stating the significance of the issue right away. This could help to better frame the discussion that follows.
task achievement
While you do provide some examples, ensuring that they are more specific and directly linked to your argument will strengthen your points. Consider illustrating specific instances where alternatives to animal testing have worked effectively.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and clearly signal the flow of your argument. Using linking words or phrases can help guide the reader through your points.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, try to restate the main arguments you made in the essay to reinforce your position and the importance of finding alternatives to animal testing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view and acknowledges multiple sides of the argument regarding animal testing.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which facilitates understanding of your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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